Up 2 Me

Another song... sorry guys. I'm a music head. These things happen && again- Lupe sheds more light.

Up 2 Me ft. Kev Samples (Lupe's verse)

If I was in charge of it...
I'd stop feeding all of the nonsense,
I would starve all of it.
I'd have em' put the black experience on Mt. Rushmore,
I'd make em' carve all of it.
& then film a movie titled 'We Made It'
& it stars all of us.
I'd write the theme song,
& we'd all cut it.
Give us a deal,
then ball on the budget.
Start a magazine
& put us all on the cover.
I'd give all the awards to the single baby mothers.
I'd resurrect Malcolm, have em' talk to the hustlers.
I'd resurrect the slaves & I'd give em' all butlers.

It Is What It Is

Wow. Where do I begin? I've been meaning to post this for a while now.

Last Sunday, I went to a church in NY that I had never been to before: just wanted to check out a different church while in the city, and a friends mom referred it to me. Anywho, I'm running a little late (everything that could have went wrong on this morning-did), and I'm welcomed into the church by a WHOLE LOT of singing. Being considerate of the fact that I'm late, I tell myself that this is probably just the period of their service where they sing selections.

After more then a few songs, they have alter call. Now I'm not quite a Bama, but I've spent the last 3yrs. at a small church in North Carolina, and I'm used to what I'm used to. At my church, altar call usually takes place after the message. I spoke to my pastor about this though, and he informed me that some people have altar call before the message so that the congregation can be spiritually prepared for the message it is about to receive. So, they're having altar call. If you aren't a church goer, altar call is basically what it sounds like. The pastor calls people to the front who would like to receive special prayer over a special situation, or just want prayer in general (who doesn't need prayer? I mean, really). I believe this is supposed to be a personal decision, and I also don't care too much about random people praying over me. So, I decided to stay seated. An usher walks over to me and says, "Girl, don't let everybody receive a blessing but you." That got me... and before you know it, I find myself at the altar- awaiting prayer.

They sung a song. The end. No prayer of any sort, and I was completely blown. And I'm saying to myself, "Brandi, this isn't your church- the pastor can't address each person individually, just wait to hear the message." Nonetheless, I was getting a bad vibe. Then, to make a bad situation worse, there are two women "feeling the spirit", and the ushers are bringing attention to the situation. I, in no way, down a person getting their praise on in church if you know what I mean. Excuse the slang, but I surely aint mad at a person who catches the Holy Ghost either. However, I'm not quite a believer of those who speak in tongues. So, as the ladies are having their "episodes", the ushers are kind of egging them on. Then a woman starts speaking in tongues (a gibberish language you can't understand that supposedly God can). I'm still telling myself, "hold out til' the message comes."

Here it is. The message. The preacher stands in the pulpit, does some high pitched- what I believe was supposed to be- singing, and reads a passage from the scripture. He begins his message, and (I kid you not) is done within 3 minutes. He could not have said any more than 5 sentences when he decided he was done, and it was time to close the service in prayer. It's bad enough there was no correlation between the scripture and the message, BUT THERE WAS NO MESSAGE! On top of that, he didn't call members to the front for salvation. What purpose does church serve you if you aren't offered the chance to be saved and renew your spirit in the eyes of the Lord? Bottom line, the church seemed down right blasphemous. It was crazy. Definitely an experience I won't forget.

Initially, I thought I was being too closed minded. However, as I looked around- I noticed I wasn't the only person who seemed blown by this entire "production". I always wondered how you were supposed to compare churches. A building intended to deliver God's message was just that; what could make one worse than the other? The answer I received was that the difference comes in what feelings are stirred up as a result of you being in the building. It is what you make of it and what you get out of it. Furthermore, take note of your surroundings. If the members of the church don't seem to be getting any more of a message than you are, or they just seem too influenced when nothing appears to be happening- that is a clear sign of what's really going on. With that being said...

"The first time someone calls you a horse, you punch them in the nose. The second time someone calls you a horse, you call them a jerk. But the third time someone calls you a horse- well, then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle." Lucky Number Slevin

2fingers and blessings,
B

Working on "H.E.R."

I was on a roll with the daily post right?

Sorry. Crazy as it seems, I've been thinking a lot about hip hop and the relationship that I have with it. So, more than ever, I've been stringing together lines that randomly come to my head and putting together the pieces of what I think will be one of the greatest poems I've ever written. Forgive me for my momentary abandonment. I will post later tonight, a thought is in my head about 9/11 that needs to be released. I had actually started posting it and deleted it on mistake. I'm a genius, right? So I've opted for this, and hopefully you'll check back tonight for the 9/11 recap of sorts. Just letting you know my status. For my faithful readers, glad you're still with me. I'm not missing again. Still very much in tune. Stick with me.

2fingers and blessings,
B

9/11 Was Needed

*THIS IS THE POST MENTIONED IN THE POST ABOVE THIS ONE (Working on H.E.R.)

So... you probably read the title of this post and was like, "What the hell, it was needed?" Seriously though, here's a thing or two to think on. Let it marinate before you start throwing out opinions.

First and foremost, take into consideration the "crabs in a barrel" theory. I was reading a book, and it spoke about how blacks were the crabs in a barrel. We were pulling each other down in every way imaginable. A few people get successful and forget about those who helped them get there; they don't do anything to embetter the place and people that helped them get to where they are. On the other hand, some people reach a certain level of success and look behind themselves to find that those who helped them get there, no longer have any support to offer because they're envious of what that person has obtained. Not to mention, the racial barriers we've set for ourselves. There's the light skinned black person and the dark skinned black person, and everyone knows- the light skinned one is supposed to be superior. Stop the madness!

When 9/11 occurred, America was offered one of the rarest opportunities that could ever be presented. We were offered a chance to present a truly united front and stand behind it. And for a moment, I thought we took the world up on their offer. Suddenly, it didn't matter so much if you were Asian-American or African-American... just that you were American. Flags were flying everywhere, and people were patriotic beyond belief. I was so proud to be an American, no pun intended. Nonetheless, it's not hard to see that we've fallen right back into our old positions. Ground Zero is simply a sight for tourists, and situations like Hurricane Katrina and the Jena 6 have made a mockery of the so called "land of the free and home of the brave".

I'm not wishing another tragedy on America. I'm nothing close to a terrorist. Bush, if there's a slight chance in hell you're reading this: I am not a terrorist, nor am I a crook. However, I am one disappointed American. Guess I should join the group huh?

All I'm saying is, it's about time we come together. If you haven't taken note of global warming and all the tragedies happening world wide- the worlds definitely coming to an end soon. Not to be all "Brady Bunch"ish but can't we have some sort of happy ending? Is unity really such an unrealistic thing to ask for? Or should we only expect people to act humane when tragedy strikes then turn our backs and have deaf ears when things go back to "normal"? Get real.

2fingers and blessings,
B

"If" for Young Women

(A poem I read that I just couldn't keep to myself)

If you can trust yourself though others doubt you
And conquer fears that limit what you dare
So you can then enrich the world about you
With skills and talents that are yours to share;

If you enjoy both quiet introspection
And festive times with friends and family,
If you make time for dreaming and reflection
But still find joy in others' company;

If you can balance dreams with practicality
And deal in facts but never lose ideals,
If you can face the harshness of reality
And find the truths that prejudice conceals;

If you can be courageous when defeated
And humble in the face of victory
Or give your best until a task's completed,
However difficult the task may be;

If you can be sincere when giving credit
And work at building bridges and not walls
Or strive to reach a price until you get it,
Yet never fail to help someone who falls...

If you can temper facts with understanding
And manage well the things in your control
And neither be too lax or too demanding
But keep in mind the worth of every soul;

If you can reach objectives, not begrudging
The patience, time, and effort you impart,
And look at others' actions without judging
And see not with your eyes but with your heart;

If you can take resources that surround you
And use them in the way you feel is good,
You'll be successful... and all those around you
Will be the richer for your womanhood.
-Barbara Burrow

2fingers and blessings,
B

Just American Dreaming

"I am the greatest, I said that before I even knew I was. I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest." -Muhammad Ali

This picture of me was taken some time ago. Like Ali, I claimed this idea before knowing the truth it would hold in my future.

I wake up, fall asleep, and spend the day thinking about different things to write. Just about anything inspires me. I am actually considering doing things toward living out the things I've always seen myself doing. Not to be to cliche, but it feels as if the sky is the limit. It feels like my options are endless, and I am steering the boat that's leading to my success. Most parents always tell you you can be whatever you want to be. I've never taken the time to really consider this, but I'm starting to believe it's true.

Granted, God is in control and things will happen at his will. I make the decisions that lead me there. I carry out the actions that effect my life. I create my own American dream, and I plan to live it out. The American dream is what you make of it. If you hear the term and think white picket fences, two children running through the yard with their golden retriever, and parents sitting on the porch swing watching their kids in adoration, with no worries... than more power to you. I think of writing best sellers that get mentioned in every book on every list of "must reads", of being someones favorite poet, of people quoting my lines all around the world, of speaking to students and inspiring them to follow in my footsteps and live out their passion. That is my American dream.

If you think I'm being arrogant or unrealistic, who asked you? If you really want someone to know what you feel, write a blog :) No, really. I can do bad by myself, and I don't care to entertain negative energy. As my dad says, "People will always tell you what they would have done when it's something they never could have done," and as Bret Jones said, "Arrogance is a term used by those who cannot discern themselves with the immense confidence of a man who knows he has no limits".

Think about it.
Sleep on it.

2fingers and blessings,
B

"Nevermore will I ignore the sounds that tell me I was born to write.
My first responsibility is to let my caged words take flight,
and not believe the hype that what I say don't make a
difference.
Stop falling for the false fate.
Stop acting like your thoughts, words, and deeds don't carry real
weight..
in the universe.
Vibrations don't call you with a date.
Don't wait for you to be ready for things to take effect.
Realize you create your own fate.
You walk yourself to heavens gate.
I can't wait for my destiny; it's something I make.
See, I'm getting older..
so I got less time to act like I got time to spare." -Mayda del Valle

Generation Y Not?

So.. I'm on the train trying to catch in a few Z's, and there's this little voice that's speaking loud and stumbling over his words. I look up, slightly annoyed, and an immediate smile spreads across my face.

There's a little boy trying to read the sports section of the newspaper to his dad. Maybe I'm becoming a softy, but things like this just light me up. I wanted to take a picture, but this is a rare occassion where I didn't have my camera (and I doubt they would appreciate me just snapping a picture of them anyway). So, I opted for the next best thing. I just sat there and listened as if he was reading to me. As he got to different basketball terms, his dad would explain to him what they meant, and then he would keep on reading. He did this the entire ride, and by the end of it I was completely smittened. Yup, I'm a definite softy :)

Whatever the case, as I mentioned in the blog before this, it's just heart warming to know our community isn't slipping the way others have made it seem. Rumor is that Generation Y and the ones that follow will be the most lazy, unprogressive, group of people created thus far. I beg to differ.

2fingers and blessings,
B

Still Here, Never Left

There's this theory that the American community is losing the ties it once had. Granted, we no longer sit on front porch with our neighbors, eating tangerines, exchanging stories... I don't think we are as far off in the distance as other may make it seem. We're still here, you just have to look a little closer. You don't have to get your binoculars out; take into account that times are changing and what amused those before us brings us no entertainment so our comradery centers around a different set of values.

I've stayed in New York for the past two weekends, and the community gatherings I witnessed were a huge eye-opener. Not to mention, there's an elementary school right beside my campus, and there isn't a day I walk by and don't find children playing in the court yard. Long story short, we are still holding on. I was at a flag football game today for 11yr. old boys, and the team spirit they had blew my mind. These boys had NEVER won a game. Nonetheless, they were there on time, jerseys on, and ready to play. They even had plans on winning the game (those plans didn't take place, but hey, happy thoughts are nice). There was also a group of older men playing on the other side of the field. What's my point? It's 11 in the morning on a Saturday. Now I don't know where you stay, but I don't know too many men who make plans to meet on the field Saturday morning to enjoy an activity they aren't being paid for. Not to mention, an activity that's probably going to leave them on bed rest the following day with achy knees.

LETS NOT FORGET THE LADIES! There were girls practicing as well, and one girl had a serious throwing arm. I was impressed. Hell, we could have used her on our team :) Long story short, our community has not failed us. We may be located on fields between two project buildings or in the street fooling around (those "bad ass kids" you wish would get out your way when you're in the car, headed only God knows where- that's us!). So what we aren't in a location of your choosing. We're still here. We aren't leaving. Deal with it.
2fingers and blessings,

B

"Times are slowly but surely changing

and you're fighting to keep our generation silent.

So you call our persistence aressiveness

and to imprison us, you label it violence..

But the taller you stack our barriers

the taller you're forcing us to grow,

and the more you try to stupify us

the more you're forcing us to know" -An excerpt from a poem I wrote