Monday, July 26, 2010

Still (Not So) Unsure

I was actually coming to type a post called "Don't Even Bother" and just direct you to my Tumblr with no inhibition or regard to this blog. But I'm suddenly apprehensive. Like, what if I want to write something OD? I'm also a hoarder. This is probably me fighting to not let go. This blog will forever remain. It's a testament to my college career.

However, my progress and further trials are/will be shown on my tumblr account. I've posted poems. And pictures. Quotes, of course. And semi- lengthy text. It's not what you're used to. But it's what works for me, as of late. I can post updates from my phone, which gives me a lot more freedom then this blog has. Free will is just that. You have the right to choose.

I'll be here.

Won't You Join Me?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Not Quite Neglected

I'm here today.
Gone tomorrow.

I know.

Look on the bright side though.
I have not completely forsaken you.
I'm pseudo-blogging elsewhere... as of yesterday.


I don't know what this means. I'm just getting a feel for things, but I'm still accessible. Keep up with me.


Thought for the Day 7/9

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Sounds like a Lupe punch Line.


Monday, July 5, 2010

If One Drop of Black Blood Makes You Black, Like They Say...

Came across this while browsing Tatyana Fazlalizadeh's website.
It's Uh-mazing.

Immediately made me think of Smokey Robinson's poem about being a "Black American". I'm sure I've posted it before, but I'm not sure that you've seen it. His poem begins at 0:40 sec.

Get free.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Thought for the Night

"Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past."

Forward to 2:00 if you're disinterested in the caveat.
(or just don't know what he's talking about, like me-
I know what it's like to lose minutes you can't get back,
I'm taking summer classes)

He Speaks My Life,

Thursday, May 27, 2010

PS About the Books

I also made a point to update the "Currently Reading" portion of this blog. I really haven't been submerged into a book for sometime now. I had tried to read Native Son, but didn't get past the first page. I started reading the story of Elaine Brown. She was the leader of The Black Panther Party... as if I need another reason to be militant. The book is definitely interesting.

I plan on doing some unpacking today than spending some time soaking in the tub and reading more. I left the "Just Finished" book from ages ago, because I don't think I've honestly read another book for leisure purposes in its entirety since that one. What a shame.

All is well though. The summer's back. That portion of this blog will be changing with a lot more frequency. Native Son will probably be next, actually. I've heard great things about it. I just can't drop Elaine Brown mid-story though. K, I'm done for real this time.

Again, don't forget to remind me about Bowing Out Gracefully. Matter fact, remind me about that and Build or Destroy. They go hand and hand kind of.

Alright. Alright.


That Damn Thing Called Pride

I woke up to a text message that didn't sit well with me... so much so that I immediately got up to blog. When was the last time that happened?

I couldn't even tell you. Either way, today has just thrown a bunch of curve balls at me and something else took priority to that post. However, that something else lead to another necessary post. Still, remind me to later write about "Bowing Out Gracefully". That will be the title of the future post.

Back on topic, I've already established that I'm going abroad next semester. What I may or may not have established is the drastic expense involved in this endeavor... along with the paper work, preparation, etc.

Needless to say, I'm stressed. Life is definitely trying to win right now, but I can't have that.
"Even in defeat, there's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens it out for me".

That's the thought for the day, by the way. Legit though. I'm trying to be short about this, but I should probably give some details. In my shortest yet elaborate explanation I'll say that my dad put money in my account to pay for a summer course I need in order to go abroad in the fall and still be able to gradate upon my return in the spring.

However, I (with my irresponsible self) had over drafted the account so the $2200+ he deposited was being chomped at with charges for former insufficient funds. Now the chomping didn't extend $100, but it still occurred.

More so, that was not my first time over drafting :deep sigh: Me admitting this to the world, shamefully (might I add), is just another part of growth though. I have another account on campus, because my bank back home is only local. That account is fine and in order, but for some reason I let the one that my dad monitors get messy.

Not to say that if was going to messy'fy an account, it should be the one he couldn't see-but geesh luis. C'mon self. Anywho, I realized that I habitually log online and check my bank statement. More so, I check the balance before making any purchases. So, the over drafting had me completely baffled. Not to mention, my dad isn't the person you speak to without having all yours ducks in a row-so I didn't mention it until I figured out what went wrong.

... well, I never figured out what went wrong. However, what was brought to my attention today though is that I only check the balance. I don't check to see from where the withdrawals are occurring. Thus, I never really know if it's up to date. How foolish.

So, I'm defending [insert:pleading] my case with my mother and honestly thinking it was valid til' she pointed out that one little tid bit. I can be so absent minded. Why would it never occur to me to check for something other than the balance? Yes, I'm still a tad green behind the ears.

Now reaching this realization with my mother wasn't the big wig. I had been through the tears portion of our convo, the frustration, the shutting up and just agreeing with everything she says.. all of it. The big deal was calling my father to admit fault. Burrrrr!

Now my mother will hold a grudge, but my father will claim forgiveness then repeatedly remind you of past actions. I've come to realize that I prefer the former. Least it's real. More so, my dad can get under my skin in a way that no body else can, and I'm already sensitive. Double fail.

So, I hang up with her.. call him.. he doesn't answer.. and I secretly have a party in my head. I called. He didn't answer. Not my fault.

But of course, with God's sense of humor and my dad's knowledge that I'd have to admit fault in order for him to put the money back into my account in order for me to confirm my class (did I mention he withdrew the money for my summer classes after seeing my account wasn't in order? Yeah. Add that to the story.) -he called back.

Woosah. So I apologized and admitted to being careless. It was a little winded and roundabout, but I did it. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, but it surely wasn't painless. He downplayed it at first, changed the topic and shared some laughs, then came back to rehash his point at the end of the convo. What a man. Love that guy.

Seriously though. It's one thing to acknowledge fault to yourself. It's something else to admit it to someone esle. It's a part of growing up though. Pride aint got many folks much places, I'm just sayin'. And in turn, I learned something about banks. That's what mistakes are for right? Lessons.

I actually wrote a WHOLE poem two nights ago. I emphasize whole because I haven't completed a poem for some time now. Part of it says, "I'm making a point of not making the same mistake twice from this point forward, so at the least I'll be less redundant." Let's see how that goes.

A Work in Progress,

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Nerve of Me.

"Yeah. I took a hiatus. I ain't gonna lie." Word to

I could give you some excuse, but my only one is life. I've been living it man. In whatever capacity. Either way, hey ya'll!

There is much to be updated on. The fro is completely gone. I went to VA Beach to see my nephew again. Still haven't uploaded pics from South Dakota. This silly girl tried me-I entertained her-hind sight told me I should've left it be. I got stranded in Delaware during a pseudo-tsunami with an insufficient windshield wiper.


Did I mention in any time as of late that I got accepted into the Semester at Sea program? I'll officially be on a boat :correction: ship, next semester. Granted, that fact alone may have me more stressed than finals. I need a passport. A visa. Money. Money. And more of the last two items. You don't know the half. If you want to donate, let me know. I'll set a Paypal account up for the cause. It's a real one. Trust me.

Moreso, I've been working on some new pieces. Nothing has completed itself, but they're still existent. I went to Charlotte for the weekend. Spent about a day in Atlanta as well. Might be going to visit someone this weekend, but it's a surprise and if there's any chance they read this I don't want to ruin it.

Uh.. what else? (flipping through planner to see what events have passed besides menstrual cycles, sorry folks-I'm not prego LOL) Oh, yeah-I put in my official two weeks resignation at the place I live/work at. So over that job. Not to mention my favorite boss' last day in the office was today. I told her, in spite of my two weeks notice, if today is her last day-it's mine as well. Moving out in two weeks, still waiting on the word from my fam in Philly as to whether or not I can stay with them this summer.

Summer plans: taking a summer journalism course mandatory to go abroad and still graduate on time upon my return. HOPEFULLY (*pray for me) interning with a law firm in the city... still waiting on word from them, so my financial aid is all messed up.

Ok, I got an appointment booked out of nowhere, but I owe ya'll this update (and then some) so I'll end/post this abruptly. I should've mentioned that I was at work.