Grab a Plate

Food for thought:

I know God will not
give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

-Mother Theresa

Don't Let it Go to Waste,
B

Thy Will- Will be Done

What I learned today in Sunday school was really moving to me. I was going to attempt to break the lesson down, but I decided to just post the actual Bible verses in the most logical order. They're pretty straight forward, so it shouldn't be to hard to comprehend- just something to consider. I'm going to throw out a basic definition for a few words you'll read that either I or another person had to ask the pastor to define before we could really get the scripture:

.covetous- desiring wealth or possesions/greed
.idolaters- one who worships idols
.reviler- one who uses abusive language
.extortioner- one who takes things illegaly, with force, or by intimidation

Hebrews 13: 1-2
Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.

1 Corinthians 5: 10-11
Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral or covetous, or an idolator, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner- not even to eat with such a person.

Ephesians 5: 3-5
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as if fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this unclean person , nor covetous man, who is an idolator, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Psalm 118:9
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in mortals.

Alright, I actually feel the need to elaborate in which way these passages spoke to me. Starting with Hebrews, I felt like this scripture was my big serving of humble pie. Just yesterday I'm talking about not being impressed by my former peers, and today I am being told to entertain strangers and continue showing "brotherly love"... can't shake Philly for nothing :)

The last 3 scriptures sent me messages that were complimentary to each other. All in all, I felt like they were telling me to maintain good company, stop depending on man because I will continuously be disappointed, put my trust in the Lord, and carry myself in such a way that would make me worthy of the kingdom of heaven.

Not Perfect-Just Forgiven,
B

*something else to think about,
just a musical delivery

Some Say, Hov- How you get so fly?

First and foremost, all thanks goes to *The Misses for posting this on The Kon Era blog. If you haven't checked it out by now, I'm wondering how you're spending your time Internet surfing. I'm a die hard Jay-Z fan, Mr. Z as I will now be calling him. This is why.

A Swag Like That? You Wish,
B

What'd You Say Your Name Was Again?

"... and I know you from where? Elementary school? I don't know you man." -Big Pun

Ring a bell?
No?
Let's try another one.

"N*ggas didn't know me in '91, bet they know me now." -Mase

Are you with me?
No?
Last try.
I'll be a bit more specific:

"I finessed and I grew. While most of the 8's and 9's in my past now get the rating of less than a 2." -Drake

If none of those lyrics ring a bell, I'm hoping you at least see where I'm headed with this. I am in NO place to judge. Absolutely none. However, it's my blog, and I'm calling it as I see it. Upon being home, I've realized just how complacent people are. I've complained before about how I've come home, only to feel like there is no growth happening here. As fate would have it, I've learned that's how most people who leave home for college feel... most of the people I've spoken to about it anyways.

But the irony in it all is the so-called love interest I once had. Let me raise a glass and propose a toast to whoever made the quote about people coming back arond when they notice you're doing fine, if not better, without them. I look at the things and people that I once deemed "attention worthy", and I'm sorry for them and their current state-but I'm also disappointed in the standards I once had. Seriously. Nonetheless, the bar has been raised, and I'm sitting back until I meet someone that's pretty good at pole vaulting. Call it what you like, but as Shania Twain would say,

"That don't impress me much."
B

p.s. Listen to the song, you might learn a thing or two. Oh, and I added a chat box since I've been learning that my peers aren't my only readers. If you aren't compelled to comment, at least leave me some love. I insist.

Intrigued... to say the least

I was posting something from my phone last night on the way back to Charlotte from my aunts Waleemah (Muslim wedding reception) in Durham, only to realize that the page didn't upload properly on my phone and I couldn't post it or save it as a draft. I was basically expressing how intrigued I was by the Muslim women and their way of life.

First things first, I realized that the Muslim faith is a very organized religion. You can claim Christianity and not practice it, but to be Muslim is to be obedient. Half way through the reception, some of the women left to go into another room and pray. Impressed, much? I was.

Furthermore, it seems as if people are made to believe that Muslim women are servants to their husband. From spending time with the Muslims in my family, I've come to view their obedience as one that stems from trust and respect. I only hope to be as trusting and respecting of my husband.

However, the most intriguing part of my experience with the Muslims in my family is interacting with the women who have every body part covered except for their eyes. Because their outfit doesn't provide any other visual distractions, I'm compelled to make eye contact. As a result, I feel like we are more connected during our conversation. I don't know if I'm explaining this correctly, but... that's how I felt.

Did I mention that my aunt was a BEAUTIFUL bride? You know I would post pictures up in a heart beat, but since all the women were in an area separate from the men, their faces and bodies were exposed, so I couldn't post the pictures for anyone else to view anyway. That was something else that intrigued me. When the women left the area our reception was held in, they had to recover themselves in full. I viewed this as a hassle. I don't think they had any second thoughts about. Which also makes me think, how much pride do you think a man would have in a women that has only been "unveiled" in his presence? That's something else.

I'm not switching religions on you or anything, but I'm definitely intrigued. We all know pork chops and me have a love thing- B Harg. aint giving up the swine. I will be making it my personal goal to read the Qu'ran this year. There are many questions I have which I'm sure can be answered in reading.

Respectfully Learning Religions,
B

Ugghh.

He's got this hypnotizing smile that makes me stop.

I realize he's good looking.

But that is not what attrated me,

Tacted me,

So fabulously..

Matched me to him.

It was his style and personna.

How he does what he does:

His whole walk, how he talks, it's true.

So maybe we should and we could

Put all things aside, spend some time,

Cause I'm feeling you.

Solange Knowles is wack-but those lyrics aren't,

B

What Dreams Are Made Of

Today was a good day ::exhales:: See that little girl up there? That's my mini-me, little sister, diva in training, and the love of my life. She's definitely spoiled rotten. I adore her though and couldn't deny it if I tried, but thats neither here nor there. My friend who does photography took this while we were at the park, and uploaded it/sent it to me today. I'm in love with it, so I just decided to share it.

Anywho, my family from The United Arab Emirates (it's in the Mideast) have been in town for over a week. Did you know my paternal grandfather and aunts are Muslim? I would be too had my dad chose to follow the religion. For those who didn't know, you learn something new everyday. Whatever the case, they were here from over seas. I remember meeting them a VERY long time ago, but it wasn't recent enough for me to feel like we had any common bond that went deeper than blood (granted, bloods thicker than water). So, today felt like I was meeting them for the first time.

Now anyone who knows anything about me knows that I'm a huge family person, and I love porkchops. For this post, let's focus on the first piece of information. I'm a huge family person. As funny as it sounds, I kept up with my aunt and her children in the UAE through Facebook. However, my first encounter with her and her children was today. Long story short, they're a handful BUT I loved it. So now I have 5 new cousins to speak of- ages 2, 4, 7, 9 and 10. They moved to the UAE 5 years ago, so their memory of the U.S. is funny. For most of them, it was their first time using a water fountain today. You would have thought it was one of the greatest gadgets invented by the reaction they had.

Random: it's crazy how much me, my cousin, and youngest sister favor each other. I guess the crazy part for me really is knowing there's someone on the other side of the world who looks like me. Thanks to Chuck E. Cheese for providing me with the little photo machine that takes token so I could capture moments like these without toting aroung my handy dandy digital camera. Check it out.


What I really loved about today was interacting with another part of my family (the Muslim side) and learning their culture. My aunt gave me the Qur'an when I graduated highschool, and I hadn't gotten around to reading it because I want to read the Bible completely before studying another religion. Nonetheless, the things I learned today weren't major facts of life- but they were definitely interesting. My original intent was to share all these little 'fun facts' with you, but it's just a bunch of random facts that I can't put together in any type of organized fashion. What matters most is the moment was captured. Here's another pic with most of the fam, minus the youngest one. Again, shouts to Chuck E. Cheese :)

I guess that's about it. On another note, this blog is a constant reminder that I've been ripping and running and have been working on finishing The Color of Water for far too long (since it sits to the right just staring at me). I'm going to handle that soon as I log off though. Secondly, it's time for a song change. Jay-Z is always a first pick. Ironically, I've been feeling content, yet this song is still singing lullabies to me.

Feeling Golden,
B

PhD in Him

*click the title over again so you can play the video without hearing the song

A Fierce Pupil of Life,
B

Can't Quite Find the Words

"It's not that I don't want to be friends,
but driving backwards is how you get into accidents."

I've gotten pretty good at this defensive driving thing, and I no longer feel the need to look in the rearview. However, I can back up for a brief moment to tell you happy birthday. If I could say it directly, I would. For some reason, that's not coming too easily. I'm not one for fronting- so to be honest, for the 3 days leading up to this- I've been trying to determine in what way I would say this to you that would cause the least amount of uneasiness and still seem genuine. This mode of communication will have to suffice, and I'm just going on the faith that you read this. I'm actually angry for feeling the need to do even this much... still. But hey, this is who I am and who I'll always be, and I'll never change-this is always me.
Happy Birthday

Praying Everyday That You Can Look in the Mirror
And Love Who You Are/What You've Become,
B

You Can't Even Roll A Blunt to This One

.. you gotta light a J.
*that was a subtle shoutie to anyone who reads my blog over a blunt

On another note. I did an interview with Mickey Factz today (technically, yesterday- Tuesday the 25th) for The Kon Era blog. Do I want you to check it out? Of course I do, silly. Click the link: It's [most definitely] Mickey. Let me know what you think.

All In a Days Work,
B

Sometimes Silence is the Loudest Kind of Noise

I haven't hit ya'll off with a poem in a bit. This isn't one of my pieces. This is actually a poem I had wanted to post on The Kon Era blog but couldn't find the video for it. I'm just finding the words though, so here it is-by Bassey Ikpi.

Sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise
Like sometimes it was best when
Girls were girls and boys were boys.
Like back when freeze tag was a mating dance.
Like back when "Do Over" meant you got another chance.
Like back when anxiety was worrying if Wonder Woman would make it out alive.
Like back when freedom was sliding backwards on a slide.
Like back when success was jumping off a swing and
Landing on your feet, then
Doing it all over again.
Like new shoes made you run faster.
Like getting Ms. Gross again for math was a disaster.
Like failure was a word we hadn't even learned to spell yet.
Like promises were sealed and kept with pinky bets.
Like a challenge was a double dare.
Like ugly was a cock-eyed stare.

And you liked it...
Like when you flipped your eyelids inside out
To impress that boy across the room,
'Cause that's all it took.
And there was no such thing as too soon,
As long as you checked the right box in that note from across the room,
The one that he...passed her.
Back when, "I don't know, maybe" was a legitimate answer.
Back when, "I need space" meant he needed more elbow room to draw,
So he got on the floor and he colored outside the lines.
Like the lines of color were on the floor,

So we just existed in sandboxes and playgrounds.
And we hop-scotched and dodgeballed
And everything I needed to know, I learned in a shopping mall.
Like don't wander off on your own,
Like know who you are,
Like know where you came from,
Like never let go of your mother's hand no matter what you do,
Like if you get lost, just stand there until someone finds you,
And someone will always look for you
Because someone will always miss you
And someone will always find you
And when you cry, someone will always remind you
In that quiet, quiet lullaby voice,
That sometimes silence is the loudest kind of noise.

Let's Play the Quiet Game,
B

Better (EXTREMELY) Late Than Never

So, it's 7 a.m. and I still haven't been to sleep. I was looking through various online photo albums, and I realized I never blogged about my spring break spent in New Orleans doing community service. I was wrong in assuming that my blog is only read by my peers, and anyone who was waiting for pics from spring break to be posted could just look at the album on Facebook.

However, I now know otherwise. I took too many pics to post them all, but I'll show a couple. All in all, spring break was a marvelous experience. Sorry for the corniness -but truly- it was, and there's no better way to describe it. I met some of the most amazing people. It humbled me to interact with people on a daily basis that were so concerned with the environment. Not to mention, I felt so at one with nature... that feeling has left me since. Meaning- I doubt you'll catch me running through the woods in a sports bra uprooting trees anytime soon.

Don't count on this happening again

I actually love that pic. I was running through the woods, just beaming happiness- whether or not you can tell :) Refer back to the post I actually did while in Louisiana if you need proof. As I was saying, we spent an entire day uprooting trees that were harmful to the habitat. Mind you the soul purpose of the trip was ecosystem restoration. Pulling trees out the ground felt more destructive than productive. It was definitely fun though.

Our first two days were actually spent in Mississippi. We were pulling objects out of swamps (that were still left over from the hurricane)/wooden frames that got torn off of houses and building fences.

In midst of the fence building processFinally done with part of the fenceMe, feeling like Ms. Fix It
Go ahead & laugh-this ones on me :)Sisters are doing it for themselves! Other days were spent clearing trails. One particular day that I didn't care for in the least was spent bundling trees which had thousands of the biggest mosquitoes I've ever seen in my life all over them. Did I mention that the cabin we stayed at had so much sulfur in their water that it smelled like eggs? Egg showers- not popping, but the water feels like silk. That may not sound logical, but you'd have to feel it to understand.

O, let's not forget our method of transportation. We (did I specify who 'we' is for those who didn't read the post written in Feb/March when I found out I was going/went?)... 'we', being me and my fellow community servers, got to Mississippi/Louisiana via charter bus. A 20hr. ride might I add. Talk about spare time. How was mine spent?

Reading: Another book I HIGHLY recommend& taking pics of willing or not so willing participants

The greatest part, by far, was experiencing the actual culture of a place like New Orleans. I can't begin to tell you how spicy the food is. Bourbon St. was no joke. Every night of the week was utter chaos. I can only imagine how it goes down during Mardi Gras. On the flip side, Mississippi was the most serene place imaginable. Note the difference:See any similarities other than the people?
No? Didn't think so.

What am I missing? I think I've covered it all. Wait! The people. Uh, duh. The most wonderful group of community servers who I ended up adoring by the end of the trip. Really. Spending a week cramped in close quarters with a person will do that to you. Granted, I did sleep on the balcony a few nights... the sun rise after a light rain is something to wake up to. Random fact: we had breakfast prepared at a shelter for recovering alcoholics. Different recover'ers (what's the proper word?) spoke with us every morning, and friendly they were. Gotta love that southern hospitality. Anywho, back to my comm. service lovies:

Me, the boys, and Candace-
"They say a midget standing on a giants shoulders
can see much further than a giant."

My lil' boo thang- Goldie!

Can you tell this entire trip was pure bliss for me? It twas', it twas'. Trips out of state with strangers sharing a common purpose (all expenses paid, might I add) can turn out right. I would go so far as to suggest you going on one- immediately. I think that bout wraps it up. Again, my apologies on the uber late inform.

I Should Be Sleeping,
B

Dom: Have you smiled today?

Saw these and thought of you:
Compelled to Write Poem #4,
B

Sock it to me!

He (still) goes in!
Then again...
what would you expect?
I mean..
He is from Largo :)

Newest freestyle from Sock the Rapper:
The technique'll make you sweat-
but don't sweat the technique,
B

*And he promoted safe sex... SCORE! :)

Tell Me All About It

I stole that line from Nikki Jean, but I mean it just the same. It hit me last night that in 3 months, I will have had this blog for a year. I can vividly remember the night someone got in my butt about starting one (*Beans) or the first conversation I had with my sister about using a blog as a personal reference to watch the growth of my writing while in college.

Now, I would actually like to know from EVERY single one of you (the readers) what it is that keeps you coming back. If this is your first time here, what compelled you to check it out? What other topics would you like for me to write about or hear my opinion on? Is there anything I could do to change the blog -appearance wise- that might make it more appealing?

I feel that quality is more important than quantity. So, for a moment I was anti-counter. If it's not viewed that often but the material is thorough and appreciated- it's all good. However, I would like to know the size audience I'm reaching and their opinions. So... tell me all about it.

Really. Leave a Comment-Let Me Know Something,
B

Sister, Sister

If you don't understand how a woman could both

love her sister dearly and want to

wring her neck at the same time,

then you were probably an only child.

-Linda Sunshine

I spent the latter part of my day with every person you see pictured above... meaning all 4 of my sisters and my only niece. And yes, this was our "make a funny face" picture taken a few weeks back at one of my little sister's dance recitals (the one with all the paint on her face).

I often remind myself to find happiness in the little things. Today was a day when the little things shined like the sun... seriously. I couldn't have been happier. My niece (age 2) and youngest sister (age 4) are the mirror image of me and my big sister when we were younger. My niece follows behind my little sister as if she was her shadow and imitates everything that she does. I can only imagine how ridiculous I must have looked stumbling behind my big sister.

My mom had asked me to take my two 12yr. old sisters to the library today, and that was also an event worthy of 5 paragraphs. Don't worry, I'll spare you. Long story short- both kept trying to steal the other person's book as soon as they determined they liked it, one had an attitude whenever the other had the "7th grade reading" book list for too long, and both bout' drove me crazy making noise like they had never been in a library before and didn't know they were supposed to be quiet.

We ended the night in Cici's pizza with everyone running around like chicken with their heads cut off grabbing various pizza slices, plates of salad, and brownies covered in confectionery sugar. After dropping my sister and niece off, we rode home to Mary's 'Real Love'. That's real. That's love. Aint a thing in the world that can't be fixed by spending some good time with the family.

Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford said it best-
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.
B

Happily Ranting

This is rant. There will be no pictures. However, I will give you a summary of what will be discussed so you can decide whether or not you'd like to keep reading... I hope that you will. Topics of discussion in no specific order: hoping others see the God in me, protecting your heart, my blogs new look (if you noticed), and The Kon Era blog.

Still with me?

First line of business.. well, really- the only line of business since nothing else is business oriented: The Kon Era blog. As of today, I'm an official staff writer. Look right. The link to the page is listed under "You Can Also Catch Me Rapping @.." Excited much? I am. I don't know what about it is making me feel so engaged, but I feel like I'm part of a movement.. a positive one.. a productive one. Yeah, that's me. I only have to do a weekly post that regards poetry and reviews of Philalive when they start back up. That shouldn't be too hard. There are other writers (*shouties to My Misses) who touch on topics like art, politics, and music. Ch-ch-ch-check it out.

Secondly, I'm working to make some changes in my life. These changes are only intended for good, and I hope you see the God in me. Enough said.

Next.. see my blog? Again, look right. Aside from the link to The Kon Era blog, there are two book covers. If you can read- and you can because you're reading this- then it's clear that one cover displays the book I just read, and the other cover is the book I'm currently reading. I'm not a slow reader- so take a peek at it often. I'm also not a book critic, so realize that- as with everything else, you'll only be receiving my opinion of the book. I can tell you now, The Kite Runner was a wonderful read. Not the normal book I'd pick up, but neither is The Color of Water. I'm enjoying that just as much. Oh yeah, and there's an official blog roll now. Not just a list of links to other people's blogs.

Lastly... protecting your heart. There's not too much I have to say on this besides I know I am too quick to trust, and I try to only see the good in people. I need to realize when to take note of the negative sides and in which way they may effect me. If I'm not going to be cognizant of the other person, the least I can do is keep my heart guarded... even if only for a moment longer than I normally would.

Ok.. I'm almost done. Just let me throw one more thing out. I decided that I actually like having music play when I get to my page, so I will always have something up dependant upon how I'm feeling. I will leave whatever song up til' the post is no longer displayed on the page, and then you'll be hearing a new song every time you visit. With that being said-here's the new song:

Take Time to Realize This All Could Pass By,
B

Gotta Love Those Political Cartoons

"You don't get it unless I give it to you hard
& everybody don't get a dap, some just get a nod",
B

Calvin 'Big Brother' Dantley

Before I go off on my tangent.. I've stumbled upon a new artist whose very much dope. I haven't purchased the album yet because- well, truthfully: I don't have a measley $8. However, soon as that's fixed I will be bumping Spanky. Yes, Spanky. Don't cheat yourself. Treat yourself. Click the link and listen to clips for some of the tracks. Now, back to the scheduled program:

It has been a while... a long while- since I've laughed til'
I started tearing. However, that all changed today and I have
the man below (whose pretending to be asleep in a picture/spreading
peanut butter and jelly on bread with a spatula) to thank for that!

So. Cal. This one's for you.

Even in blogs, you're as hilarious as you are in person.

::Running through the parking lot screaming::
HOVA HOVA HOVA!
B

p.s. I'll be posting a pic soon so you can see "it"-the lack of NN's.
[If the closing/p.s. doesn't make sense to you, they're probably inside jokes intended for Cal. Don't rack your brain trying to figure it out. It's nothing that deep.]

*More funninness that I just couldn't deny and there's no proper place to put it:

Fathers: If You Aint Saved, You Aint Suited

I'm a bit late on the Father's Day post, I know. I'm actually getting this posted on Monday, but as you can see by the date- I started writing this on the right day.

Let's handle business. I didn't plan on posting a pic of me and the man version of me (cause I haven't been too hot on him lately) or writing a Father's Day post at all, but it only seems right since everyone else has (*really just Maddie and Dom). Not to mention, today's church sermon made me realize a few things and gave me a new sense of appreciation for him. With that being said:

*Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Alright. Let's take em' to church. The gist of the sermon I heard today is given away in the title. My pastor spoke about how every child that makes it out the womb makes it by the grace of God. However, whether you live to be 95 or are aborted as a fetus... God had already numbered your days. Furthermore, you don't have babies because you have sex (again, it's by God's choosing), and having a child doesn't mean you are suitable to be a father. What makes you suitable? Being saved.

I realize everyone reading this may not share my religion, but opinions are like buttwholes- we all have one, and this is the one shared by my pastor. Proceeding: the sins of the child are carried by their parents. So, 'before a man can be a good father, he's got to have a good God'.

Now when sharing this idea w/ a friend he asked, 'So a man can't be a good father if he isn't saved.' My thought on this, thus far, is that he may be good parent by wordly standards- but not by virtue, because if you aren't raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord then you are doing them a disservice. Furthermore, he isn't truly a man himself until he turns his life over to God.

So, that's that. As far as the man I call daddy... church made me realize just how much I appreciate him. He definitely falls short of a good father by a few standards, but he's alright with me. I know that he loves me unconditionally. I can call on him whenever I am afraid, and I find immediate comfort. The joke Julie used to always make last semester was, "Don't make Brandi dial 2!" (He's #2 on my speed dial) All in all, it is what it is. Excuse the word play, but that's exactly how I feel. How about you?

Daddy's Girl... Still,
B

The Assassination of Hilary & Barack

Got this in an email, so I just posted the message verbatim. PLEASE let me know what you think:

A controversial art exhibit was raided and shut down before it could be viewed in NYC yesterday.

According to the NY Times blog: Cityroom, Boston-born performance artist, Yazmany Arboleda, tried to set up a provocative art exhibition in a vacant storefront on West 40th Street in Midtown Manhattan with the title, 'The Assassination of Hillary Clinton/The Assassination of Barack Obama'.

The artist thought his racist views were protected under the Constitution because he was expressing himself through his art. Wrong.

Not 30 minutes after Arboleda set up the gallery across the street from the New York Times building, police, feds and secret service swooped in to shut the art exhibit down. While police covered the offensive storefront window with brown paper, Arboleda was led away in handcuffs to be 'interrogated'.

Arboleda, 27, learned the hard way that freedom has its limits. Later, in an interview, he said: 'It's art. It's not supposed to be harmful. It's about character assassination — about how Obama and Hillary have been portrayed by the media.' He added, 'It's about the media.'

So this is Americas' growth?

"Last night I had a dream.
Thoughts were racing through my head.
Seemed so real to me.
This is what was said,"
B

Same Shit, Different Person

"It feels like somethings missing but I just don't know.

It's like I'm not the same man that I was no more.

And all these crazy places, that I usually go,

Are jus not as excitin as they was before."

Ok. So. I'm fully aware that I've been Lyfe Jennings'ing ya'll to death, but the man speaks truth... hence the reason he has been in the last 3 post I've written. Anywho, I've had this unshakeable feeling lately. It's bad that I'm a writer and I don't know how to put the feeling into words, BUT that's what it is. So I was trying to cheat and hear the new Lyfe CD that I ranted about in the previous blog, but Imeem wasn't having it.

I settled for reading the song lyrics. The lines quoted above are from his newest single (that I skimmed through but never really listened to: music heads know the difference). Whatever the case, as Lauryn would say- he was 'singing my life with his words.' Those lines sum up my feelings completely. Things are definitely different, and I haven't been able to pin point whether or not the differences of for the worse or for the best.

The only thing I'm sure of is that I am a different person in the midst of these changes. As a result, I can't act spontaneously. Though things no longer hold the value that they once did, the weight of my actions has not changed. I need clarity. I also need assurance. What I really need to do is pray. Speaking of which... church is another issue within itself. The next post will be about just that.

Life Changes on a Daily Basis,
B

Ol' School Soul Food

About 2 years ago, I was riding to church with my Papa and we passed the most gorgeous car I had ever seen in my life. My immediate reaction was to harass my Papa about pulling over and looking inside the car. It was 'for sale by the owner', and I just had to have it. Description?
-1967 Chevy Impala
-Gold paint
-White interior (or should I say guts?)
-White tires w/ gold spokes

*not quite the right pic, but it will d0

I'm no car person, but this thang was definitely a beauty. With that being said, Lyfe Jennings has a song called Ol' School on his new CD where he describes a car using soul food metaphors. Who tells me about it? My pastor: whose also a fan of Lyfe. If the pastors a fan, you know this man's talking about something real. I advise you to cop all 3 of his albums if you don't already have them. Anywho, peep game:

I got this old school the color of soul food

Candied Yam racing stripes, pipes potato white

Cornbread interior trimmed in collard greens

Air freshner smell like chicken and pork and beans

Doesn't hurt that me and my sister were just discussing how southerners have a completely different level of appreciation for cooking... home cooking to be precise, and soul food to be exact. If you aren't from down hurr', I don't expect you to understand. I'll just pray for ya :)

If You Don't Know-You Better Ask Somebody,
B

*Excuse my absence. Please & thank you.

Somethin' Like a Superman..

"Faster than a speeding Cadillac,

able to leap tall buildings when the police is on your back:

It's a bird, it's a plane... no, it's ghetto superman."

-Lyfe Jennings

... I don't know about you,
but I don't think Mr. Obama
nor the Democrats are playing any games.
His spot is officially reserved.
CUT-IT-OUT.

Always Ready for a Change,
B

Just Cause He's Him

& Just Cause I Can,

B

Built for This

*For starters, the title of this post was inspired by one of the tracks on Sock the Rapper's first album. Click the link to hear the song. You'll enjoy it. I wouldn't steer you wrong.

On another note, for the first time-home has found me more inspired/motivated then ever. As I mentioned in the post before this one, I came home this summer worried that the growth I experienced since being away at school would make a turn for the worse while back in North Carolina. Worrying about this in itself was wrong, because I am the one who dictates what occurs so I shouldn't have given my location that much power. However, I realized and do not under estimate the various factors that change between Philadelphia and Charlotte.

With that being said, I was glad to discover a poetry scene out here. My closest friends are fully aware of my love for poetry, but they seldom take an active role in that part of my life. Because of this, among other reasons, I haven't been around them lately. Their absence was noted, but it has just recently turned into an area of conflict. Initially, I was just caught up in the excitement of all the opportunities being placed in front of me (that are poetry oriented). Writing is my passion. Anything that is remotely related to helping me live out my dreams gets my undivided attention. It's not that other things aren't as attention worthy, but the rapture of it all just takes me with it.

This is truly the first time I've ever been involved with a group of people that make me feel like I have something to prove. Times like these can motivate a person and help them build their character or they can break them. I want to use this as motivation. Situations where I don't feel like one of the main characters in a scene are few and far between. This is one of those situations where I feel the need to make a name for myself and push my way to the forefront... earn the respect I feel I am worthy of and capable of getting.

In saying that, I have been finding it hard to balance between my passion and my position with my besties. I want them to understand: This is who I am. This is a major part of me, and I want to explore it until I have perfected my craft. But, I don't feel like they're as eager or willing to understand where I'm at in my life. I could be blowing this way out of proportion, but that's just what it is. I keep reminding myself that 'those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'. I hope there's some truth in that saying. Though Dom is right, I am the only one who suffers the consequences or reaps the benefits of whatever steps I make towards my dream- I would like to share the sorrows or (*hopefully) the success with my best friends.

I am a survivor by my own admission, so I guess this is just one of those things I have to go through... a test, for lack of better words. It's not life or death, there are no 'passion or best friends' ultimatums being thrown. I just have to ride the wave, let things take their course, and keep good intentions. Right? T.I. said it best, 'Life is like a chess move. You need to make your next move, your best move.'

Built Ford Tough,
B

Cruise Control

Do I look happy? I have been lately. This 'being content' thing is not as easy as it seems though. Anywho, the pic from above (along with the others on this post) was taken yesterday. I went out on Lake Norman and heard poetry/a band play while chilling on a yacht. It was as nice as it sounds, with the exception of the heat. I just realized how little I've actually written about what has occurred at home since being back. Most importantly, since last Thursday. I went to my first poetry event in Charlotte. I've been excited to discover that there's actually any type of cultural scene out here. Ignorance is bliss, and I definitely wasn't in the know.
However, that error has been corrected. Tommy Bottoms was featured at the spot I went to Thursday (The Wine Up). I had seen him perform in Philadelphia at Philalive (missin' that!) so it was no biggie. I was just happy to be in my element. I shook a few hands, met some great people, exchanged a few numbers and found myself sailing on a yacht with them by the end of the week. Seriously though, when I first got home I was worried because I felt like I had experienced so much growth at school as a result of poetry- then, I came home to find that everything here was still the same or at a stand still. Thursday night gave me hope.
Then Sunday was equally wonderful, and tomorrow I will be attending an open mic. Did I mention that I heard a great band play on (what I think was) Saturday night... just vicious. The way the people danced to the music really tripped me out. They were truly feeling the music. You haven't danced to music until you've felt what they did and expressed it in a similar manner. Whether or not you are on beat is irrelevant. Oh yeah? The music playing? Compliments of Lovo. He's one of the poets (featured in the pic below) I met on Thursday that has been stuck with me ever since. My first time listening to the Estelle CD was in his car. He's made a fan out of me. Her CD is definitely worth the buying, but for now I'll give you a track off IMEEM.

This is Life,
B

*As usual, blame IMEEM if Shine by Estelle isn't playing.