Monday, March 30, 2009

An Ode to the One Who REALLY Makes it Rain [& a poem]

It's March. Today the sun was shining in Philly. The temperature, to be exact, was 73 degrees. I was meeting with Babel (my poetry collective) to work on a performance we have this coming Tuesday... cool. So we're all chilling, spitting, etc. and decide to open a window. It was at this time we noticed that the sun had went into hiding and the wind had picked up.

In short, we were tripping. So, me and Ari (*my main man!) start yelling out the window that God has returned, it's the last day, and war of the worlds has begun. Yeah, we were bugging. Whatever the case, we must have spoke too soon, because out of nowhere it starts hailing something serious. One second everyone was lounging around the middle of campus, the next second-everyone's running for cover.

Ari tells us to write about what we just experienced , because we were all standing there in amazement. I just stood there for a couple extra minutes, staring out the window... watching the hail turn to rain, then to a hint of sunshine smothered by storm clouds. It was extraordinary. Really. God is definitely in control... with all that being said, here's the poem that came from this experience. Half the people I tagged to it on Facebook were apart of the actual experience, but ya'll can read it again because I want ya'll to post your poems as well... said in my best Slick Rick voice- Heeeeerrereee we go:

I wonder who it was that pissed God off
Cause long ago
I learned to believe that the rain drops were His tears
But what's to be said when sunshine turns itself into a hailstorm
It is all too obvious that He's angry
And now people are running for cover
I bet He wishes they'd run themselves to the altar
But we all know they're running to the comfort of their living rooms

It's crazy how easily we all presume that God is the one in control
And I'm just hoping He doesn't think it's a fit day to flood
Cause if today was my last day
I know I haven't done enough
I'm not ready Lord
Push the clouds back
Bring on the sunshine

You don't have to exercise Your power
To make me marvel at Your abilities
I'm always amazed at the ease in which You forgive me
See, I'm on the inside looking out the window
Hoping that gust of wind that allowed water to momentarily wet my body
Wasn't supposed to serve as a warning

If so, God I'm listening
And I feel You
So please
Bring on the sunshine
Cause I have yet to build an arc fit for Your floods
Babel-Post Your Poems
They Were ALL Dope,

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Close One Door, Open Another

First off, let me say that I am used to having things my way.
I am fully aware of how snobby that may sound, but it's the truth of the matter.
It's partially a spoiled thing, but it's also because I'm used to working for what I want and seeing to it that it's obtained.

With that being said, when things don't work out for me according to what I had in mind, it's a major shot to my esteem. As Dom says, "I feel like my cloak of invincibility is wearing off." Why? I wanted to be a Community Assistant at this apartment building on my campus next year. I applied for the job at two different buildings, but I only received an offer from the building I have come to decide that I don't want to work for.

I REALLY wanted this position at the other building.

Like, I already decided how I would contribute (not just be another player on the team), I had begin to schedule my summer around the dates they gave us, etc. I've heard it said, "If you wanna make God laugh, then tell Him what you've got planned." I guess that's how this lil' tid bit went down. Again, God is getting his laughs off at my expense.

It's all good though. That job is clearly not what He had in mind? How am I sure about this? At one of my jobs (have I wrote about the fact that I'm balancing 2 jobs now, 17 college credits, and extracurriculars... whoa buddy, don't get me started!?)... as I was saying, one of my jobs consists of calling Temple alumni and parents in hopes of raising money for the school.

Well, John Kincaid from ESPN's radio talk show is a Temple Alum. Did you know that? I surely didn't. Whatever the case, he was on my calling list two nights ago. I recognized the name before I was actually able to identify him, but he walked me through his position. Nonetheless, I was calling him in hopes of raising money, but by the end of the conversation he gave me his contact information for my personal use, mentioned some of his connects that are relative to my major, and said they were offering summer internships down in Atlanta if I was interested and had somewhere to stay over break.

I did everything short of jumping out my chair and ripping my headset off. It just made me grin from ear to ear, because he made it clear that he was eager/willing to help a "Temple girl" (as he put it). The Community Asst. position I wanted required me coming back to Philadelphia at the end of June. In short, a summer internship opportunity would have been a no go. Maybe (hopefully) something else is in store.

It Gets Greater Later?

Yo, she's badd.

I'll admit it. I didn't jump onto the Keri band wagon until... ugh, last week on the way to work. Turnin' Me On just wouldn't take itself off my iPod's repeat. Whatever the case, I'm feeling her now. This videos a definite plus. It's safe to say that I like it more than a little bit.

& for the record-
Kanye won,

Monday, March 23, 2009

You Were Crazy to Piss Off a Poet

This is a candid shot taken while spending some time with Malcolm, my fellow Babel'onian. Here is the poem that resulted.

M & B: You were crazy to piss off a poet
With one step on the stage I could expose your whole life story
With the power of voice I could disrobe you for the coward that you are
And all I need is a pen to write you off
You were crazy

M: Don't you know that my words make destiny
Rewrite histories
I will destroy you
With words, God gave this earth light
Darkness can come just as quickly
You played me for a fag
You can't dick me
Fuck you
You took my tears as weakness
But I was praying for mercy when I hit this stage
Cause I knew that I would blaze you
And it would be disrespectful
But this aint Year of the Gentleman
And trust, I aint Ne-yo
[sung] If you don't know me by now
My words are dangerous and I'm shameless
And in case I haven't said it yet, Fuck you
You tried to play me for a fool
When my IQ is astronomical
I guess you forgot that your existence is fractional
I can divide you back from a decimal
Just to remind you that you're pointless
War has many warning
Peace is not an option
So don't blame me for blasting you
And as a reminder, fuck you

M & B: To piss off a poet!

B: What were you thinking?
It was nothing for me to put "I love you" in a poem
But now my only words for you are fuck you
In this poem
I won't beat around the bush
But I'll respectfully extract your name
Cause I don't want these flames to burn you
Substitute: Coward
You cannot break down my elements
Mistook me for water,
Thought I'd fit whatever mold you put me in
Does she know that she's my carbon copy?
And God made men from dirt
So it's only natural you resemble characteristics from which you came
Therefore, your feelings are as fleeting as the air
That's why I've thrown that shit to the wind
And you'd probably wish that I'd blow you
But I'd much rather expose you
Wouldn't touch you with a 10ft. pen
But on paper, it's nothing for me to hold you
Cause when investing my time in you
One plus one only "kinda" equaled two
And it's bullshit

M & B: You were crazy to piss off a poet
And you should feel this small
Or at the least...
Just remorseful
Cause when dealing with giants,
It's said we fall hard
How ironic to see you at rock bottom
I bet you need me now
Probably miss me now
Kinda love me...

Fan Yourselves Off,

Jus to Match the Mood I'm In

It's Like That Ya'll,

Friday, March 20, 2009

[New Poem] My Best Friends

My best friends hold secrets better than an inner city morgue
Cause a dead man don't tell no tales
And we've all done things we plan on taking to our graves

But for now,
They're just weary spirits haunting our hearts until we're 6ft. underground
See when you drive through life at full speed
Accidents are bound to happen
And we've done everything short of crash and burn

Were never prone to being precautious
Forget seat belts
Na, we're the type to go all in and suffer the consequences gracefully
Especially when they come in the form of children
Bearing names like McKenzie, Sahmira, and Christiane

Never let them see you sweat
And tears should never leave your bedroom
This is the mindset of my inner circle
Divas in the day who fight off demons when the night falls

And it's said that birds of a feather flock together
So you might try and categorize us into some type of statistic
But in a pile of numbers, we are those outliers
The ones who mess up the average by refusing to fit status quo

They say tell me who your friends are
And I'll tell you who you are
Well, my flock is made of thorough bred survivors
There isn't an ailment, sickness or circumstance known to man
That could ever minimize us

We will always make it
And I stand here before you a living testament to that statement.

Peace on That,

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Teen Pregnancy

"Too many black women can say that they're mothers, but can't say that their wives."

" teenage pregnancy wasn't becoming synonymous with being black and woman."
-Jill Scott

In my Intro. to Magazine Journalism class, we are often given sporadic assignments that we have to write about within a couple of minutes and hand in. Last week, the topic was teen pregnancy. As journalists, it is our job to make the issue relevant to us in some way, shape or form, but also make it relevant to our readers. This topic was too easy for me... just thought I'd share it with ya'll.

I’ll never forget sitting in my English class senior year and hearing the teacher say, after my pregnant best friend left the room, “You may all think pregnancy and little babies are so cute, but it’s not something easy to deal with. These girls are ruining their lives.” I could only assume that the “they” she was referring to also consisted of my other best friend who had graduated earlier that year and walked across the stage with a swollen belly.

In no way am I the walking blimp for teen pregnancy. In no way am I a true advocate or supporter of the term. However, I am a proud Godmother of 3 blessed children, and a best friend to 3 single, teenage mothers. Though I am not in their shoes, I believe I have the right to speak for all of them when I say that they never thought, for one moment, that raising a child at a young age would be easy. What they did believe is that they were capable of doing it. Why? We all firmly believe that “God don’t make no mistakes”.

All 3 of my best friends have stood firm by this belief, and today, all 3 of them own their own houses, have full time jobs, and 2 of them still manage to attend college full time. I am not saying that they got this far by faith, but I am saying that optimism and positive thinking contributed a lot to their success. It’s easy to be down-trodden. It takes a larger person to stand up in the face of their disbelievers and strive, not only to prove them wrong, but to prove their believers right.

Some people like to think that they are doomed, and though it may be a pleasant beginning, the “ending” is far off and unpredictable. Despite the nay-sayers, I am not one of those people. I’ve witnessed the stress of teen pregnancy first hand. As a Godmother, I have even been an active and sometimes not-so-willing participant of that stress. What I have never been is doubtful. Grown-ups are always telling children they can do anything they put their mind to. Why shouldn’t being a successful teenage mother be a part of that equation?

Damn Right,

Monday, March 16, 2009

Lying is for Losers (that's the best title I could come up with)

This post is for everyone, specifically.

I know that sounds a mess, but if you are in my life and we speak on a regular basis-then this is something you should know about me.

There is not a circumstance known to man where I would rather you lie to me than tell me the truth. I am not the type who prefers "living a lie" to remain happy. I am not interested in having my feelings spared.

I deserve honesty, plain and simple.
If that's too much of a request, and I understand that it really is a lot to ask of some people, then I need you to spin wheels... and I'll see you when I see you.

Think about it. So what if I'll be mad at you. We're both grown, and feelings are fleeting. The madness will only last for a moment, and I can't do anything but respect your honesty. And for the record, withholding pertinent information is indeed lying by omission. No point in trying to slick a can of oil, darling.

Granted, I've been working on this theory that it doesn't matter so much what people tell me, it only matters what I choose to believe. I'd still like to think that I can take your words for face value.

The truth is like the sun. One cannot stare it in the face without squinting or turning their face... I read that in a book somewhere.


I am the Prototype

So, since I said I plan on being on my 'The Good, The Bad & Semi-Literate' tip and just speaking on how I feel, that's what it is... and in short, I'm blown right now.

First of all, the last guy I had MAJOR interest in (major= he had me open and I wanted to take things to the next level) is talking with another girl. This isn't the major part. We're cool... I mean, we've always been. He's told me about her, speaks with me when he has problems, tells me things that happen between them, etc. However, my first time seeing her was today, and this is where the ball dropped.

:Drum roll please:

She looks like me. Yes, this black man went and got someone with similar physical traits. I don't even know how I feel about it... like, it's just weird and mind blowing. It doesn't help that he tells me often that he misses me on one level or another. If you miss this, that and the other about me and clearly are attracted to me physically because your new woman mirrors my image, why aren't we together? I mean, I guess I'm partially responsible for that, because I told you we're only friends now, but you backed me up on this decision.

So follow through with it. Stop asking for kisses. You can't have them. Stop mentioning our physical encounters. I won't entertain the thought. I'm trying to create boundaries for a reason. You can't have your cake and eat it too. This isn't a Jay-Z verse homie. ("Love having my cake plus eating it too. Shit, I got cake. What the fuck I'm supposed to do?") All in all though, despite the irony in how she looks, I hope you're happy.

But just to be an ass, you know what they say-
"The sequels never better than the original,"

O, and yes-I am writing a poem about this thing... believe that.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Not Quite a Movie Review

So, recently I've watched The Secret Life of Bees and about 3 months ago-I watched The Bucket List. Me being me, I put parts from The Bucket List in my phone, because I liked it so much. Now, I've been meaning to share these parts and a movie clip with you for a while now... but time has gotten away from me. HOWEVER, now is as good a time as any. Here's a clip from the Bucket List first:

As described by YouTube, here's the description of the movie: "Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and working class mechanic Carter Chambers have nothing in common except for their terminal illnesses. While sharing a hospital room together, they decide to leave it and do all the things they have ever wanted to do before they die according to their bucket list. In the process, both of them heal each other, become unlikely friends, and ultimately find the joy in life. "

In short, I highly recommend it, but here are parts from the movie I wrote down:

Edward: "Hang in there Carter."
Carter: "That's what I do."

96% of 1000 people said they wouldn't want to know the date of their death if they could. [This really had me what would be the perks and disadvantages to knowing when I would die, and how would I act if I knew?]

Carter: "I've taken baths deeper than you"

Edward: "I honestly envy people who have faith. I just can't get my head around it."
Carter: "Maybe your heads in the way."

We live, we die, and the wheels ont he bus go round n' round. (?)

Edward: "You're not claiming to know anything I know?"
Carter: "Nope, I just have faith."
Edward: "Well hallelujah brother, pass the mustard."
[I loved that. Edward was such a sarcastic ass.]

They (Edward and Carter) were having a conversation about making it to heaven, and Carter told Edward that in older Egyptian faith, it was believed that Egyptian Gods only asked you two questions to determine whether or not you could be admitted into heaven:
1. Have you found joy in your life?
2. Has your life brought joy to others?
[I'm sure half the world would think they were making it into heaven working with this theory]

Our lives are streams flowing towards the same river towards whatever heaven lies within the midst beyond the falls.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT- next movie: The Secret Life of Bees.

I also (highly) recommend this. It didn't end the way I expected it to, but it was wonderful. I don't have much to say about it... no major quotes or anything like that. The thing that stuck out most to me was the song playing in the background when they were burying one of the characters. Oops, now you know that someone dies. Funny thing is, the only reason I'm not telling their name is because I don't remember it. Whatever the case, the song went as follows:

Place a beehive on my grave
And let the honey soak through.
When I'm dead and gone,
That's what I want from you.
The streets of heaven are gold and sunny,
But I'll stick with my plot and a pot of honey.
Place a beehive on my grave
And let the honey soak through.
I would notice the lyrics during a movie, right?

Oh yeah- Dakota Fanning's a beast,

Vengeance is Mine

The best vengeance for our enemies
Is to
let them live with their memories.
-Queen Sheba
& That's All I Have to Say About That,

Friday, March 13, 2009

Rudeness, Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?

So, I'm in love with the song you hear playing...

Whatever the case, I'm going to drop a cat out of the bag regarding females . Typically, when we let go of someone who wasn't conducive to our emotional health... wait, I always cover up my personal emotions with pronouns that make it seem like I'm speaking about a collective group or someone else. Let me speak for self.

Proceeding: If you were in my life, but you've become a thing of the past, I don't wish you harm. I wish you well, and I probably miss whatever it is about you that I found attention worthy. Here's the cat: I'm not all that worried about the rate of your souls progression because it no longer affects me, your love life is of no interest to me either... I just want to know that I'll be missed. Maybe not in the same capacity or way that I'll miss you, but just in general.

I don't want to be a person you look back on with regret about how you handled the relationship. I'm not the vindictive type, I don't want every day of your life to be one which involves suffering without me. I just want to know that I made enough impact on your life to the point where my absence leaves enough void for missing to occur. I don't need this large revelation where you come back around pledging your allegiance to me- it's never that deep. [not to mention: "driving backwards is how you get into accidents"]

...I just want to cross your mind and put a smirk on your face every now and then. Plain and simple. I'm just a girl, man.

Nonetheless, this rant was not even the intended purpose of this post. The intention of this post is written with two former flames in mind-both, who refuse to speak to me. I couldn't tell you the reasons for either. The first one, I've never said or done a mean thing to in my life cause he had me on some puppy love bull, and I didn't have a frickin' back bone. However, when I decided to dead him-that was the end of that. A few years later, we became mature enough for the cordial type of gig to take place, but we moved to different areas... hadn't spoken since... and now he does silly shit like send me Facebook request, mind my business, then delete me as a friend.

Why? Is it ever that deep? Or is it just that hard to say: Yo, I'm wondering how your life is going but I'm not really all that interested in speaking? Wait. Whoa. Even if that was your response, I'd still need a reason. Like, what are you on your high horse about? I haven't done a thing to you. Come out of your bag Mr. Emotional (for no reason).

Guy #2... o, God bless Guy #2, is a different story. I had his back. He dogged me, I still had his back and wished him well. Then, he dogged someone else, and I was just blown. So... I came out my mouth all crazy then tried to renig on it, and for the most part (in my mind)-that's what I did. I even took blame where I was at fault and tried to make amends. Now, by this time, anything between us was way over, but I just didn't feel the need for tension or needless hostility.

Guess I'm shitty at peace offerings because to this day-he still won't speak, he goes out of his way to make it clear that he's ignoring me or opting to not speak (which can kinda be humorous at times), and from what I'm told makes a point to change topics if my name ever drops. And, all in all, I'm just over it. It's petty. It's pointless, and I just don't think he was really that hurt to still be holding grudges. I mean, is this his way of not giving me closure? The case could very well be that he just doesn't feel the need to speak to me at all, but that wouldn't make sense to me. I don't see the reason behind that.

Honestly, I can think of one solid reason that he may have for that, and that will be divulged in a poem so you'll just have to wait. I'm bout' to get on my 'The Good, The Bad, & the Semi-Literate' sh*t and just start spluging on here... man o' man, if you only knew. It feels good. Ok, my rants done. That's all.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Look What I Did

Excuse the X on my Hand.
Focus on the hair.

Me Likee,

[p.s. originally, the plan was purple-but I liked how this came out... maybe in a few weeks]

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Guess Whose Bzzack?! [New Poem]

So, my absence has been very much noticeable, inappropriate, and unacceptable. But I'm back... like, fa real. It's been a tough few weeks though man. Whatever the case, that's no reason for me to go completely ghost on you. If you're reading this, take note of the post below this one, Sock the Rapper's album drops on March 20th. If you're in Philadelphia (or, just in driving distance), he's also performing in the SAC at Temple University on that same night, and it's your favorite price: FREE! asses :)

Anywho, the title of this post does include the words 'new poem'. Before getting to that, let me say that my poetry collective [BABEL!] was asked to perform at an event called Positivity: Know Your Status. The event was about the importance of HIV testing, because so many people have the virus and don't know. I didn't know that before writing the poem, I was just told to write something health related. This was the result:

Opening your legs wider won't make him love you more
Neither will allowing him to penetrate you without protection
See, you may think that you're giving him your everything
But what you're doing is putting your health at stake
Cause sex aint the only 3 letter word that's life changing
And I think you're worth more than the raw deal

If he doesn't consider you worth protecting
Then, you may want to reconsider if he's worth keeping
Don't you know life shouldn't be taken lightly?
And every occasional condom is like the bullet in the barrel
During a game of Russian Roulette
All it takes is one pop and it's over

So, I'm not making a sexual reference
When I tell you to stop playing with yourself
Why are you pressing your luck?
They say live and let live
But you should tell him strap up.

Didya Notice It Was Short?...
There's a Stepping Stone For Me,

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Picture's Worth 1000 Words

It Speaks for Itself,