Thought for the Day 3/30

"if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

..when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know" (nikki giovanni)

Did I mention that my poetry collective (Babel!) opened for her two weeks ago?
Yup.

We Did That,
B

I'm an Aunty (x3)

Born to my brother, his name is Braylon Anthony Edwards.
I adore him.
Early.
The second nephew in the last 3 months.
Call me Butter, baby- cause I am on a roll.

Well, my siblings are on a roll.

This little man was born on Wednesday, March 17th, and I spent the weekend in Virginia Beach just loving his face and smelling his baby feet.

It's the only time any human odor is precious.

See?

To be an Aunt is to be a Good Thing,
B

PS Speaking of which, I still need to post info/pics of the time I spent in SD with my niece and sister. That's a bit more in depth though.

A Poem for Corey

Here's the poem I mentioned in my post of pictures that I hadn't actually put on the blog. I performed it during Babel's show.

His body is reminiscent of where a man could've been

A brown paper bag full of bones

Reflected on smoky mirrors

He is life altering decisions made last minute and in reverse

His tongue

In deep refusal to become familiar with the taste of weakness

Admits to knowing no fault

No frailty

No room for regrets

He will never admit to being broken

Instead, he’ll call

Speaking in a tone as limp as the branches that sway from willow trees

Equipped with a decade’s worth of insecurities

And burdens just as heavy

As if a bent back were his birth right

And I will rush to his aid

Lose my sense of discretion in sake of his defense

Distribute the weight of his demolished dreams amongst us

And pray to God that the creek don’t rise

You’ll have to pardon me

But I cannot fail him

See, our blood be thick

And all he has to depend on

When his arrogant attitude just sounds like a cry for help

And it seems that no one else can hear,

What in my ears, is painfully obvious

He is just angry

In search of answers only God could grant him

And self-imposed isolation has become his greatest survival tactic

But it’s only a successful method if you let it be

Won’t you choose something else for once

I know it’s not fun

Not the first charitable event that you’d eagerly list on a resume

But you have the power to save a life today

To see the beauty in his rage

And forgive him for it

Though he will never offer an apology

It’s okay to hold him accountable for his actions

But help steer him into making good ones

I can’t be our mother

Can only provide so much comfort

Before I’m forced to remember that I am just his younger sister

Closest of kin

And I can’t be a man for him

But here is my plea

Think of the man he still has the chance to be

Before counting him off as a lost cause

And offering a dank, dark space
Encased by metal bars as his home

Consider this poem

Look up to the sky

Steal the North star

And offer it to him as the guiding light he’ll need to walk in the right direction

It’s the most humane crime you could ever commit

I promise I’ll convince him to keep it in his back pocket should he give you any lip

And he probably will

In that brown bag body of a boy still searching for something to call his own

I wrote him this poem

In hopes that at his next life altering decision

You might find a little time and patience to spare

If not, the heart, to offer him redemption

Smile For Me,

B

You Might Die: Thought for the Day 4/9

"I was angry with you until it occurred to me that you might die."

William Ball

A month ago, when I was first going to post this thought, I had this long elaborte post that accompanied it. It wasn't completed though, and I have since decided not to complete it. Why? IDK, just don't have the sentiments sitting as heavy on my heart as they were when I first wrote this.

But can I kick it? Of course I can.
That's always my precursor to a blunt statement.

I thought of Chris when reading this. He knows who he is. Dependent on if you are an active force in my life, you may know him as well. I'm not sure why it reminded me of him, because I didn't think I was mad at him anymore.

Either way, he came to mind. And I say this to say that I hope you are doing well sir. And being good to yourself. Praying for continued growth.

Simple and Plain,
B

My Life in Pictures

Haven't done this in a while... a long while. So here are a few photographs of my life since I've been missing. Which basically dates back to last year. (In saving pics, I realized I didn't announce the birth of my nephew- EPIC fail).

Either way, I'll keep it simple. Pictures and captions. Nothing more (or less [assuming you care to see this in the first place LOL]). I was going to put them in ascending chronological order (too many big words beside each other-from the furthest date to the nearest), but I'm currently in a terrible mood- I started writing this when I had the patience to do so- and yeah... just blah.

Since (which was 2 days ago), my mood has been fixed. Here we go (and yes, they're in order):


[Went to NC over Christmas break and did some hair chopping. Ya'll know I can't keep a do long. Say hello to my new bangs]


[This would be the newest addition to our bloodline (my nephew). World, meet Romello. Romello, meet the world.]


[Upon my return to school, I made dinner for my coworkers. My boss brought a chocolate cake. I couldn't tell you how it tasted, because cake isn't really my thing. The meal: fried chicken, Spanish rice, asparagus and corn bread. That corn bread is the corn bread that broke the glass dish I use for baking. I'm not still bitter about it or anything-I'm just sayin.]


[Snow. Plain and simple. That's just showing how high it was once they shoveled the sidewalk.]


[More snow. Disrespecting Grace (that's the name of my car, FYI). Shoutout to Jelani for digging her out of it.]


[These ladies would be my "5". Us 5 together, in the club, is pure trouble. Focus on the front two though: they're the newest addition to the group of people I call friends. And ya'll know I don't use the term loosely. Love them. Early.]


[The "Rules of Recess". Recess is a club we went to down in Olde City. Cute little theme dontcha think?]


[Dinner with my boo Andisha during restaurant week. We ate at a steak house (Butcher and Singer). Food was delish. That's my Wendy Williams"How you doin'?" face.]


[Remember Babel had a show back in February? Here we are. At the show. Loving each other. It's okay if you're jealous.]


[Brendan, Malcolm and I during our portion of the show.]


[Me. Doing me. I need to post this new poem, btw.]


[More snow in Philly. Mother Nature was relentless. She's basically a boss and wanted us all to know that it could be winter whenever She wanted it to be.]


[Self-explanatory. It's a snow penis. No, I don't know who made it, but it was outside my building and picture worthy.]


[Sledding down the Philadelphia Art Museum steps. They were covered in ice. That was our bootleg, yet very efficient, sled.]


[One of the best purchases my father ever made for me-not including Grace or the years he had to pay tuition, post full scholarship.]


[New tattoo. And this is a bad picture from when I first got it/I'm too lazy to retake one. It reads: "Fear is only a verb if you let it be". It was inspired by this poem/woman/video.]


[I already told you this, but so what-I cut my hair. It fits in the time line.]


[Some man on my block speaking in a bull horn telling everyone that white people are crazy crackers, Haitians/Puerto Ricans/a lot of other minorities aren't mentioned in the Bible, and Christianity will lead me to hell. Sound like nonsense to you too? Good. Not to mention he's delivering all this looking like a ninja accompanied by a Black Panther gone wrong. I'm just not built for this mess. Excuse me for this long caption, but I just had to.]


[My Thaozy cutie face (roomie from last year, remember?). Don't see her often anymore cause she left school, so her presence is always golden. Can't you tell?]

There are actually more pictures to come. I mean, I did spend spring break in South Dakota. Most of them will include random facets of nature, but they're just as (if not more) wonderful.

Stay Tuned,
B

I'm Not Going Back

Who knows why the title of this post is what it is.

Beyond the fact that I was looking at the title of the last 3 things I didn't post ("More Nerve Than Sense", "I Didn't Lie to You. Honest.", "Women's History Month") and became nostalgic. Why? Because I didn't put much in them beyond the title, so I don't know what I was going to write about... somehow, that though lead to a song by Nas.

Guess what Queen I'm going to see today?

Nope.
Why would I do that?
Not hardly.
That's got potential.

Ok. Give up. My sister.

Yuuuuup! (said like Trey Songz) I don't know what to do with myself... besides pack, of course. Indeed, I have not packed a thing. However, I don't get off til' 1. My suitcase is in my friends basement. It matters not that I was with her last night and at her house for a couple hours. Nor is it important that my plane leaves at 2:40. You know what? You're right. I'm way illy for this entire operation.

Nonetheless, it will go as planned and without a glitch. I have spoken it into life. And so it is. (Damn, I sound like my grandmother)

I missed ya'll man. You know that friend you don't see or speak with often, but when you see them you realize how affected you've been by their absence? Yeah. That's what typing this post feels like.

I think I could legit make a post about how it feels to return, but I'll spare you. As for now, know that I'm going to see my sissy. I'm way excited. My niece doesn't know I'm coming. That makes the "surprise" even better.
WAIT!

Did I mention that South Dakota is my destination? Hehehe, I'm sure that changes some people's perspective. For a minute ya'll were like: "Spring break. With the sister. Woohoooo... South Dakota? (disappointed face)" [end scene]

I won't front. I felt the same way in part. Not to mention, the weather just started clearing up here in Philly (definitely slept in the park for 2hrs earlier this week).

... and it's got the nerve to be snowing in South Dakota. That would ruin most spring breaks for some people. But hey, who else will be able to say they saw Mt. Rushmore this week? Granted, who else can say they wanted to?

I'm playing. I [legitimately] can't stand when my sister's family get's stationed somewhere I haven't visited (they're a military family, hence the randomness of South Dakota), her referencing being in that place, and me not knowing what it looks like. If she says, "Girl, I'm in in bed" [because "girl" would come first LOL], I'd like to have a clear image of what her bedroom looks like. That may sound creepy, but it's howww I feeeeell. (said like this--> meaning the way Santana says it in the song posted below)

IDK why I'm doing so many song references today. It just feels right. Anywho, I'm going to run to my friends and pick up my suitcase. Mind you, I'm at work now. Love my boss man. It's 11:48. I'll be seeing one of my favorite ladies in less than 12 hours. Yes, I leave at 2:40, but I don't arrive in SD until 10.

And yes, I've been writing this post while at work for 2 hours. Hmph.

It Be Like That,
B

Gotta Keep Em' Guessing

Don't be mad at them when it's onto the next one.

So, yuh.
I have been gone.

But I have not forsaken you.
Cut my hair yesterday,
and wouldn't dare do that without informing you.

See?

Just when you thought you had the fro' figured out.

If Mary Should Drop My Baby Girl Tonight-
I Would Name Her Rock n' Roll,
B