Kids Say the Darndest Things

I think Trigon is onto something with these commercials.

Cracking Up,
B

I'm Thankful for All Kinds of Birds

Even you.

Spent Turkey day in VA with my grandma and one of my big brothers. Nope, wasn't in Carolina with the larger side of the fam. But hey, as Jigga said, "When I left you for Virginia- it didn't offend ya, cause you knew I only stepped out to get dinner." It was the first time I actually helped prepare the meal. Whoo! That's all I can say.

I now have a greater appreciation for the cooks. All we made was turkey, baked macaroni, mashed potatoes with gravy, brocoli-cheese and rice casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls and 7 layer dip which is small compared to other peoples' Thanksgiving dinners. Nonetheless, that thing took all day and my grandma woke me up at 8a.m. Mind you, I got in around 4 this morning. It's all good though. Fought with my brother over our favorite Pepperidge Farm cookies (just like the ol' days), now I'm bout to clean this kitchen and go out with the bestie.

Hope you had a delightful day.

Gobble-Gobble,
B

Case of the Fake People

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

So, a situation that I won't describe in detail occurred a few days ago. As a result, my friend spent part of tonight ranting about how conniving girls are and why you must keep your circle to a minimum.

Personally, if I wanted to be in my feelings about the situation-I could see how it pertained to me. But truthfully, I'm kind of indifferent to it all. Not because girls will be girls, but I'm just not hurt by the fact that trust was broken and I don't think I'm DIRECTLY affected. To say that would imply that we had something built on trust in the first place, and I don't think we really rocked that close. There was a time where I might have been made to believe so, but that time was short lived. Not to mention, other people involved no longer get much of a reaction out of me.

What does bother me? As I said, not that trust was broken, but the fact that I'm starting to believe that I can't extend it. My friends mom said that there are two things you will definitely leave college with: secrets and debt. Now, debt is for certain, but I haven't done a thing in college that I wouldn't put in a poem and perform on stage. With that being said, it's not that I'm too proud to be ashamed of my shortcomings- but I've accepted them, acknowledged them for what they were, and realized that someone else might benefit from my testimony. That's why I splurge in poems, because I know someone out there can identify, and they may not hear it anywhere else.

However, it is my testimony to give. Not someone elses to divulge, and their doing so disturbs me. I just feel like the longer I live, the more I am learning to not trust people. And maybe I'm naive, but I don't want to have to think this way. I want people to say something and mean it. Do something and stand by it. Prove themselves consistent. Faithful. Loyal.

That may be a stretch, because I feel like my loyalty only lies within few (who have proven themselves worthy), but I like to believe that I am a woman of my word and I don't lead people to believe things about me or the relationships I am involved in that is otherwise. So, I don't understand why other people find the need to, unless their ulterior motive lies in getting close to people just so they can know their personal business for their benefit.

And if that's the case-when it comes to me, all you have to do is ask. I'm living life and making mistakes the same as everyone else. It's all good. You don't have to put on a facade. If you're that interested in my doings as they relate to you (if they even relate to you), just say so. I'd actually find your bluntness commendable. Closed mouths don't get fed, and we all got to eat. I understand.

Maybe this blog is just another rant, but it had to be released some way.

Anything built on a lie is bound to fail,

















B

Dorm Life is Feeling Hotel'ish

I woke up at 6:45 in the a.m. (as a result of going to sleep HELLA early the previous night). Since I had more than a few hours of sleep, heck-more sleep than I usually ever get-I decided to bury my nose in a book I had fallen asleep reading the previous night. No, I'm not reading Nigger. I had finished that about 2 weeks ago, but hadn't started reading anything else-so there was no picture update. I definitely need to do a post about that book though, and I recommend it to EVERYONE. I'll probably type the excerpt on the back of the book and just give ya'll other lil' tidbits-its a MUST read.

Anywho, this morning I finished reading The Interruption of Everything by Terry McMillan. The ending felt a little iffy to me because I had wanted a different outcome for the main character, but it was a good real overall. In short, it was about a woman who lived her life for her kids/husband, and realized this had to change if she wanted to be happy. A lot of other things occurred beyond that, but you'd have to read the book. Duh.

Moving forward, it's around 9a.m. now, and I decided I wanted some cereal (I have not had any since school started), so I opt to go to our vending machine downstairs. Now backtrack a bit. I don't know why this thought seemed so awkward initially, but it was weird to think that I actually hadn't had any cereal since September. We all know breakfast is important (granted, I seldom eat it), but geesh-cereal is pretty frickin' basic. Yet, I haven't had it since I've been home.

So... on the walk to the vending machine, it occurs to me that I'm walking down to the main floor in pajamas (a long shirt, black leggings, and the typical bunny slippers-but mine are brown instead of pink and white) to pay $1.50 for 12oz. of milk. Then I get to thinking how much a rip off our dorm is, because they know college students run out of the simple mess or barely keep it in stock at all, so of course- they have it downstairs in a small amount, for the maximum price.

Back to what I was wearing while taking this walk-pajamas. Granted, our dorm has an 'apartment' feel to it. I still feel comfortable walking outside in pajamas and going down stairs to the main lobby. Then there are security guards at the front desk, and they feel a lot like the people who greet you when you walk into a hotel and buy a room. I don't know, not to mention the long hall ways, various doors, and bare essentials provided in each room. It's comparable to the likes of a cheap/basic hotel... the word doesn't seem fitting.

Of course, our kitchen has an oven, stove, fridge and cabinets. Our living room has the basic (but not comfortable) two couches and a table-along side the dining area (or extra space) that has a table and four chairs, and our rooms have a bed, a desk, and a drawer for clothes. I don't know. It just feels like I'm staying in a hotel for a lot longer than a person normally would. I don't think I'm explaining this well. The point? I believe the feel of my living arrangements is what's contributing to my homesickness.

Did I mention I've been homesick? Last year, I wasn't the least bit pressed to leave Philly. Now, I just want to be at home. The apartment's all set up like a real place, but the "hominess" of it is missing. The absence of home cooked meals wasn't as noticeable when I didn't have a full kitchen that barely gets used yet still carries bugs. Ugh Philadelphia! I have 5 roommates, and though I'm close with 2 of them- they aren't quite family. You know how it feels to walk into your house filled with loved ones. Well, maybe you don't. Should that be the case, let me be the first to tell you-it's wonderful.

I could have cut this blog short by just saying I'm homesick, huh?

I'm Homesick,
B

p.s. I forgot to mention the good side of this morning- I walked to the vending machines twice because the machine didn't accept my student ID which has diamond dollars (money) on it. I forgot this, because the other machines downstairs do. Anywho, I go back upstairs to get change, come downstairs, put in 50 cents, yet the machine read $1.50 So now I'm looking around trying to see if someone close by already put a dollar in and walked off or something. No one appears, and I'm left to thank the milk angels, because after all that rut- I only payed 50cents.

My Newest Poem: Easy

Though I've never had another man love me like this
Clearly, I'm just as ungrateful as the brother I was raised around
Cause I can't appreciate anything that was gained without a struggle
And here you are- just oozing with affection
Making love seem easy

I've been used for the fulfillment of physical desires
But you come wanting a different type of intimacy
And I never knew a love that didn't have me down on both knees
Either praising their manhood or praying to God for inner-peace
Then there's you
Asking me to stand
So you can worship the ground I walk on
You sing my praises too easily

Silly me and what I'm used to
Being mistreated has become my muse
Therefore, the consistency in you is unsettling
Four years later and no cause to doubt your dedication
I'm done waiting for the strength in your foundation to break
I'm just finding it hard to appreciate
Because you made things too easy

Maybe if you had tripped me up along the way
Left me out to dry when I draped myself in lies
Let me hurt for just a little
Maybe then I could love you like you want me to
Never been the one feeling like I had something to prove
Damn you and your nobility
You make being loyal seem easy

And I know in the song that reminds you of me
They say devotedness will always prevail
But I should be the first to warn you
Listening to love songs never got me anywhere
And an everlasting commitment doesn't always prove itself faithful
Disappointment comes too easy

Though you've never let me down
I'm too quick to fly away
I thought you would have given in by now
Turned your back by now
You should just go now
Loving me doesn't come easy

A Mess,
B

Funny Feelings

Things have been uber weird lately.
Unnecessarily so.
And the worse thing is-
I don't know how I feel about any of it.
I need to write a poem... or 2, or 3.

Fuck You For Flinching,
B

I just Maybe.. Might've A Little Bit

Got missing.

Na, really- I feel like I haven't left ya'll anything to think about in days. As if I actually stimulate you guys. I took the blog count down. Did you notice? Truthfully, I was trying to put this other one up, it wasn't showing how I wanted it to, and I'm too lazy to put a different one. In conclusion, I've ditched blog counts all together. We were on a roll though, weren't we?

Anywho. Since we last spoke, I have yet to inform you on very big moves that I'm making.

I HAD MY FIRST SHOW!

Last Friday I was the feature poet for Art Institutes open mic (AI of Philadelphia) The show went very well if I may say so myself. I performed 4 pieces, the crowd rocked with me for a little bit, and I proceeded to make a smooth exit before the entire show crashed and burned. Na, really though. I did so well that someone from the show asked me to host some talent show (or something of the sort, I'm not sure I understand just yet) that they're having in December.

Granted, I've never hosted a show before, and I don't want their show to be my guinea pig. I also will never have experience until I actually do it, so- why not? Iono, just a thought.

I have more to say, but I also have class.

Til' Later,
B

A Holiday Message from the Obama's

I've Been Barack Crazy Lately, Huh?
B

Doesn't This Just Look Right?

Indeed,
B

Chop You, Screw You Outta Ya Spine

So... I'm pretty much in love with this song right now. Get on it:

That'll Be 60 Bucks,
B

If I'm Dreaming, Let Me Sleep

(*sidenote: If music is being played when you visit, it will be located at the bottom of the page from now on-in the event that you'd like to turn it off.)

The fact that our new president-elect is Barack Obama still hasn't sunk in, and everything just feels surreal. If this comes off like a rant, so be it. There's so much to be said and I'm not even sure where to begin- but the polls feel like a good place to start. Consider this a recap of yesterday's GLORIOUS events.

Let me start by saying that I was all too happy to see the button beside Obama's name light up after choosing the democratic candidates. I was all too happy to see Obama's name on the ballot in the first place. Initially, I felt like pressing the "VOTE" button was not enough... it felt as if there was something else that should have been done, but I was ecstatic about doing it regardless. Want proof?

There you have it. Taking that picture may have been very much illegal, but hey-you only live once. So I walk out the booth, and I'm trying my hardest not to burst out in song since I'm already doing a terrible job at not smiling so hard. Not to sound corny, but I felt like I was floating. I just begin to text a bunch of people saying how I had changed the world.

Granted, I know all elections aren't as controversial as the one we had, I don't understand how people could be so apathetic about their right to vote when it gives them so much power. And hey, maybe I'm naive, and this election has left our generation with a false sense of hope because things went in the way of the people (which they would have us to believe is not what normally happens).

Anywho, I'll get to that later. Back to the story: I go home and get in bed with the intention of waking up around 8 to do some studying for my Philosophy midterm. Instead, I end up crashing until 10:30ish (mind you, I got done voting around 6). Once I'm finally up, I turn the TV to CNN, and I see that Obama has like 230+ electoral votes, and from what I can tell things aren't moving so fast. In short, I decided that it was going to be a long night, and I had already made up my mind that I would be awake when/if he hit the necessary 270 electoral votes.

So, I'm talking with my roommates in another room, and I hear someone screaming outside. The first thought that comes to my mind: The man hasn't even won yet and it feels like the night of the World Series all over again. Little did I know, he had been declared winner and I would be joining that crowd outside very soon.

The screams begin to build up, and I decided to come check the TV in the living room while my roommate tried to pull up the results online... and just like that, we get the news- HE WON! I don't know how long me and another roommate were just standing there in awe, but it took a second to really hit me. Once I finally realized that Barack Obama was our 44th president-elect I just begin running around aimlessly.

The aimlessness left me with too much adrenaline, and I decided to go outside-and boy, did things pick up from there. I'm outside with my roommate and we're just walking the campus, screaming, with no destination in mind. Where do we end up? We walked the entire campus to end up back on our street standing at the intersection crossing the main road in North Philly (Broad Street).

If you aren't a Temple student, just imagine the main road leading downtown in whatever city you reside. So, I'm hugging people, crying, screaming, chanting, and hugging some more people- and then everyone starts chanting at each other from opposite sides of the street "O-BAM-A! O-BAM-A!" Before you know it, we are all out on Broad St. just jumping around, a firecracker lights the sky, and everyone's walking down to City Hall.

Now, I've already acknowledged that a Temple student may not be reading this, so you may not know that walking to City Hall aint no walk in the park... especially when it's cold outside and semi-rainy/slippery. Did I mention we're in North Philadelphia? The hood of hoods. Nonetheless, most people would be surprised to see how civil the group was. And when I say "the group", let me emphasize that the stretch of people walking to City Hall expanded for blocks. Here's a SMALL glimpse of it once we got close to our destination (compliments of the Palm Centro I was complaining about a few months back):


City Hall would be that big building ahead of us. See the right side of the road? We shut it down! What's even more crazy about this is that the police made sure we were safe. Yes, they protected us. Don't get it twisted, there were folks riding on top of cars and hanging out windows, and I could tell some of the cops were just dying to hit them upside the head with a baton- but I don't think it would have been a good night for police brutality or a good move on the cops end. To put it plainly, they were outnumbered and my generation was running on pure adrenaline.

Anywho, we get to City Hall and we all crowd around this statue:

Take note of that horse. See it? Good. So I'm standing around it with the rest of the people, and I've decided that this just isn't cutting it. I have to have something to tell my grandkids. Sure, I walked to City Hall, but they don't know how the walk went. They didn't run beside the girl who lost one of her flip-flops and decided she was going to City Hall anyway. They didn't high five every person they passed- friend or stranger, alike. They didn't see the guy praise dancing in the middle of the street, thanking God.

That wouldn't be enough for them. So, I've decided that I'm getting on this statue. Now, I'm no chump... just 1/4th an inch shy of 5'8'' (and I would be 5'9'' if I had my way, but that stories for another time). I get on the first platform of the statue with no problem... just hoisted myself up and shimmied a bit. See?
But, that 2nd platform-the one where the actual horse was standing, the one I just HAD to get to-that would take some work. Let me remind you that this thing is wet, and I realize that tonight wouldn't be a good night to die. Meaning, I'm not climbing this thing on my strength alone, cause as sure as the sky is blue-I will slip. So, my friend tells me to grab his hand and he will pull me up.

Initially, I was more than a little bit hesitant because he was asking me to trust him with my life in a major way. Daddy wouldn't appreciate a call saying I busted my head open trying to climb a statue in the middle of down town. Trust, he wouldn't give the slightest damn who got elected if he heard I was climbing statues in the first place-let alone, busted my head in a failed attempt to do so. No, my dad wouldn't care a bit, but it all worked out in the end. God bless my friend and his strength, hehe.

So, there I sat. On top of the statue. Looking down at the people just cheering for a good cause. Rejoicing in union, for the right reasons. What song popped in my head? If I Ruled the World by Nas ft. Lauryn Hill. I've been inspired to write a poem by a song before, but man if I could write a poem explaining how the world would be if under my rule-the scene would be depicted like the one I was experiencing at that very moment.

Anywho, eventually I got down (though I said I was staying up there for the next 4years), and we walk further into City Hall. I run into people from the University of Pennsylvania which is on the other side of Philadelphia, and now everyone's bugging out because we realize that we all got this grand idea to head to City Hall. So, we celebrated some more. People were outside banging pots and pans, dancing as if speakers were actually bumpin'.

Then a line resembling the one you make when doing the bunny hop begins, and it's heading back to campus. After running through cars, slapping hands, banging on bus windows, riding on cars, and more chanting-we get back to campus... but here's the thing- we kept going. That's right. We walked right past Temple's campus and now we're heading the opposite direction YET AGAIN. A few blocks and serious pains soaring through my Nike Shox later, I've decided that this is over for me. I don't even know what's in this direction (besides the hood), and I've already made it without being beat by the cops-I'm not trying to risk it with the real thugs of Philadelphia.

Just joking. Truthfully, I had an 8:40 class back in Center City (the place we walked to) and of course, we were supposed to hand in a paper that (coming) day-that I had yet to do. So, I take my butt home, and decide that I will never forget this night, and here I sit today-sharing it with you. In closing, if you actually took the time to read all of this, I only ask that you do me one more favor. Comment on this post by answering this question: where were you when our 44th president, a black/mixed man, was elected? What story will you share with your grandkids about the night Barack Obama was chosen to be America's next president?

Yes We Did!
B

Never in my Lifetime Have I Came Across...

A man who impacted so many people in such a positive way. Clearly, (smart) Americans aren't the only ones who celebrated the election of Barack Obama. Here are pictures taken from all over the world at the moment his election was declared, and if these aren't enough proof- read the first comment made on the post directly above this one.

Take a look:

Obama's step grandmother, Sarah (middle) in Kengolo, Kenya

At Obama's former school in Jakartar, Indonesia

Shanghai, China

Athens, Greece

Jerusalem, Israel

Sydney, Australia

Japan

India

Hopeful,
B

Her shirt says 'Vote For My Better Tomorrow'

If That's Not Enough Reason-I Don't Know What Is,
B

Praying with a Purpose

I was informed through email that on November 3rd between noon and 1pm, a world wide fast and prayer will be occurring in preparation for/anticipation of our future President, Barack Obama. The request is that you give up one meal on this day, and instead-pray for these things:

1. Pray for the Hand of God to move in a mighty way over this election.
2. Pray that this election will be handled in a fair and honest manner and in a way that pleases God
3. Pray for the protection of Obama and his family.

I picked that picture because I feel like it foreshadows what's to come. Just think, that may very well be the face of America sometime soon. A black face. A black family. I don't think a day of prayer and fasting is much to ask for considering the next 4yrs of your life (maybe even 8... wishful thinking*) will be affected by this event.

You Can Count Me In,
B