Case of the Fake People

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

So, a situation that I won't describe in detail occurred a few days ago. As a result, my friend spent part of tonight ranting about how conniving girls are and why you must keep your circle to a minimum.

Personally, if I wanted to be in my feelings about the situation-I could see how it pertained to me. But truthfully, I'm kind of indifferent to it all. Not because girls will be girls, but I'm just not hurt by the fact that trust was broken and I don't think I'm DIRECTLY affected. To say that would imply that we had something built on trust in the first place, and I don't think we really rocked that close. There was a time where I might have been made to believe so, but that time was short lived. Not to mention, other people involved no longer get much of a reaction out of me.

What does bother me? As I said, not that trust was broken, but the fact that I'm starting to believe that I can't extend it. My friends mom said that there are two things you will definitely leave college with: secrets and debt. Now, debt is for certain, but I haven't done a thing in college that I wouldn't put in a poem and perform on stage. With that being said, it's not that I'm too proud to be ashamed of my shortcomings- but I've accepted them, acknowledged them for what they were, and realized that someone else might benefit from my testimony. That's why I splurge in poems, because I know someone out there can identify, and they may not hear it anywhere else.

However, it is my testimony to give. Not someone elses to divulge, and their doing so disturbs me. I just feel like the longer I live, the more I am learning to not trust people. And maybe I'm naive, but I don't want to have to think this way. I want people to say something and mean it. Do something and stand by it. Prove themselves consistent. Faithful. Loyal.

That may be a stretch, because I feel like my loyalty only lies within few (who have proven themselves worthy), but I like to believe that I am a woman of my word and I don't lead people to believe things about me or the relationships I am involved in that is otherwise. So, I don't understand why other people find the need to, unless their ulterior motive lies in getting close to people just so they can know their personal business for their benefit.

And if that's the case-when it comes to me, all you have to do is ask. I'm living life and making mistakes the same as everyone else. It's all good. You don't have to put on a facade. If you're that interested in my doings as they relate to you (if they even relate to you), just say so. I'd actually find your bluntness commendable. Closed mouths don't get fed, and we all got to eat. I understand.

Maybe this blog is just another rant, but it had to be released some way.

Anything built on a lie is bound to fail,

















B