Untitled Poem 5

Belongings do help you to recognize yourself
And you can try to deny the fact
But I'm wondering what possessions I'd carry if all I could bring along had to fit in my backpack

If the concept of time was lost and the location had yet to be determined
What few items would I deem worthy of carrying over into my new life-hopefully assuming that there'd be something else in store

Would my favorite jeans still hold favor?
Cause truthfully-the holes are fashionable, but I don't know what good they'd do come winter time
And everyone knows I love pork chops, but I don't know how 1 could be split 9 ways come dinner time
I have 8 siblings

And though I'm not the oldest
I know that I'd have to make sure we all eat
If it was them or me
And going hungry equated to death
Whose survival would seem most important?
And who'd be sacrificed to ensure the safety of the rest?

See I'm still thinking of us as one unit
But what if I was forced to be my only concern?

My youngest sibling is 4
The undisputed love of my life
All she knows is pet pit bulls
Sloppy kisses
And loving Brandi thiiiiiis much
So I can't imagine her being put in harms way
Having no choice but to release her to people I knew only intended to kill her

Would I give my life as well?

I'd like to think that I would
But survival impedes selfishness not selflessness
Philly aint the only place that's bleeding
And ironically
The affects of war didn't really hit home until I started reading
I'm not depending on the TV

They failed to mention that before Iraq
There was Bosnia, Rwanda and Iran
If ya'll think the weapons of mass destruction we still can't find were a petty excuse for fighting
Imagine people dying
Cause their ethnic origin didn't fall under the leader of their countries preference
If their religious beliefs were deemed inappropriate
And torn from the history books they read to their children

In another country I could've been killed because I was black and/or Christian
And since I wouldn't be allowed to praise God
I'd thank my lucky stars that I'm still living
That I wasn't raped and I'm impregnated by a drunken soldier
Then faced with the decision
Of carrying and keeping a child my entire country would consider a spawn of Satan

Granted, I'm pro-God and pro-choice
Hypocritical maybe, but at least I'm offered the option of contradiction
In a land where we can abort babies versus killing them for a living
Though we both know it's all the same

For most of us here, death hasn't occurred at our doorstep while the smell of burnt flesh is wafting past our nose
At the same time the blood of someone else was embedded in our clothes
Cause the shirt was on the back of one of the bodies being burnt
And to the killers-burning the shirt was the only thing that seemed absurd

I'm trying to decide what would be worse
Biting my tongue as the murderers pass
Or burying the memories as a method of survival
When my silence only protects my oppressors

These people deserve justice
But I'm no savior
I can't save them
And this is where hopelessness sets in
They have no power to change their situation
And I'm in no place to help them

This Can't Be Life,
B