Saturday, January 5, 2008


My baby sister Nia Pearl wanted to type, so:

uuppu p7p7 7pp77p7p7p7 7pp7 [] \] 6[[ 6a6 uiiiikooo-- -iii "

Now that she's happy...
I've never been all that good at expressing my deepest feelings, aloud, to another person. Imagine that. I used to think I was really great when it came to this thing called "communication", but I realized I was in a relationship for so long where one person didn't speak their feelings at all and I was verbal about anything. Therefore, I was lead to believe that I had good communication skills. When in actuality, I was just talkative. I've realized just how off my communication is when dealing with 3 people. Let me break it down for you.

Person 1: Thank God for technology. They can communicate their deepest feelings to me- as long as we aren't in person. Through email, IM, and text messages it's all good. When we're in person-they freeze up. They never really say what's really on their mind, maybe they lose their nerve. Whatever the reason, our true feelings go without being said, and I go back to the "sandbox" days where hitting them lightly becomes my way of showing affection. I go so far as to tell them that this is what I call "tough love", and they have to read between the lines. This is my way of communicating. Listen.

Person 2: Hip-hop saves us. I have openly admitted that pouring my heart out isn't really my forte. I was raised around boys and have had my heart broken. The lesson learned: what you don't want used against you, keep to yourself. However, I find myself trying to make my feelings known. I'm not too great, but at the least- acknowledge my efforts. It's hard though. I'm sensitive, to a fault I might add, and once I open up-I've basically given you the power to hurt me. I can't half step or give pieces... all or nothing. And I thought I'd close back up, and for the most part I have. They really don't know what I'm feeling. We're lyrical people though, so I try to send them messages through the airwaves of lyrics, but they aren't paying attention. In giving them songs, I'm giving them my emotion. Listen.

Person 3: Say what you mean, mean what you say. They say exactly what they're feeling, and feel exactly how they say they do. I wish I could do this. I think a certain amount of humbleness comes with this because at times you're shamelessly admitting to feelings that aren't always positive attributes in a person. The crazy thing is... I'm least responsive to this form of communication. Communication in it's truest form gets the least response out of me. Why? Maybe I'm not used to it or I'm not good at it myself, so I can't reciprocate the action. Nonetheless, in this situation- my day to day habits tell them all they need to know. Whether or not they take heed to my actions is another story. Listen.

I'll keep taking stabs at it. Someone will eventually figure "it" out. All is well.

Contentment is Key,

1 comment:

  1. This one is really good. Probably one of my favorites. I think we all have people like that in our lives and respond to them pretty similarly.

    And Nia's deep. Spittin that knowledge.