Mistake Overturned

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I was talking to my best friend this morning and we were making jokes back and forth. Somewhere in the conversation, the tone became serious, and we reflected on where we were at this time last year. If you don't know us that well- let me be clear, we were carrying a heavy load. Literally, all puns intended.

We got to looking back on all we had been through in the past year and realized how well we came out. I've mentioned in a blog before that 07' was possibly the hardest year I've lived through thus far. It was. To be quite frank, this time last year- I was in love alone, depressed, losing weight, and harboring suicidal tendencies. Just when you thought you knew me, right? This time, this year- I love myself genuinely, I've forgiven myself and those I allowed to affect me in a negative manner, I'm more content with myself than I've ever been, and I realize that everything is for the good. For a moment, a long moment, I walked around feeling defeated, forgetting my purpose. It took some time, but I've realized that I have to love me second and God first... in that order, at all times, allowing no one to alter that. This break has allowed me more time to myself, and things are only becoming more clear.

All the things that I went through in 07' just made me a better person for 08'. I was bruised, but I was not broken. I am here. As my best friend said, "we came through the course on top, with a red flag." How could I not notice my achievements? Some of the greatest things you'll ever do will go unnoticed by others, but you have to recognize them within yourself, and give credit to the one most deserving. Yourself second, and God first... in that order, at all times, allowing no one to alter that.

On another note, don't place a question mark where God has placed a period. Reflecting on last year, there were people in my life who I fought for so hard to keep around. They would walk out on me, and I would go chasing behind them. They were my crutch. I made myself believe that I needed them. However, a close friend of mine is pregnant and the father of her child passed away when she was barely showing. She's told me before that she needs him, and I've told her that if she NEEDED him, God would have kept him here. He wouldn't take something away from her that He knew would be essential. With that being said, He knew I didn't need those people in my life, so He removed them. Furthermore, He knew they weren't in my best interest. They did not mean me well, therefore, they no longer had purpose in my life. Their purpose was served in teaching me the lesson of detachment and forgiveness... learning when to let go and when to forgive.

I am not 100% about all of this. To be honest, there are certain things from '07 that I still hold onto and plan to hold onto for a long time. For that matter, I dedicate everything I do to those things. Nonetheless, as the saying goes "out with the old, and in with the new." Things were hard then, but that's only because they were going to be easy now. I had to learn. Alicia Keys said it best:

"Life's perfect aint perfect if you don't know what the struggles for.
Falling down aint falling down, if you don't cry when you hit the floor.
It's called the past cause I'm getting past and I aint nothing like I was before.
You ought to see me now..
Yes, I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned.
Mistake overturned so I call it a lesson learned.
My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned."

Contentment is Key,
B