Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Young Love

Something I wrote last year when I was young, dumb, & in love.
No, really.

For those I love, I will bend over backwards. No questions asked, whether you're right or you're wrong.. doesn't matter whose feelings I crush in the process.. I am standing by your side because with you my loyalty lies.

It doesn't matter to me in what capacity you are able to give of yourself as long as I get something.. anything.. just enough to make me feel like you hold me as close to your heart as I hold you to my soul. I will make a decision based on your feelings, ignoring my own because I love you so much and this love is so blinding that I tend to lose sight of myself.

For YOU.. I have that unconditional love.. there's nothing you can do to taint my feelings for you, no matter how things change.. I'll always want you desperately.. but are you worth all the feelings my heart contains?

I'm starting to wonder if loves enough or are the sacrifices I'm making going to be things I look back on with regret... wondering how I let them go for a love that wasn't willing to do the same in return.

Are you worth the people I lose, am I really gaining as much as I'd like to believe.. or am I forcing myself to believe you're my fantasy.. when really I'm only dreaming. Making you into who I want you to be, when you can only be all that you are, and for me.. that's just not enough.

For you.. love.. I am willing to give my all. I am willing to turn my cheek when things you do or say don't bring smiles to my face because I would hate to believe you'd do anything that would contribute to my book of suffering and heartaches.

For you.. love.. I am willing to lose those who love me despite my capacity to love them back. I am willing to lose those who love me in the way that I love you. All I want.. is for you to prove you're worth it.

I gave you so much credibility before you even spoke a word and now you're comfortable thinking you don't have to work to keep your spot. It's a rare blessing for someone to reach the status you have with me, but it's hell when I realize you aren't worthy of that position.

And I truly hope you can prove your worth.. pull your weight.. show me this love is real.. I want so badly to believe this is my reality. If I'm dreaming.. please don't wake me, because life's burdens are too much to bear. Allow me to sleep until the time I awake.. is a time you can prove you truly care.

2 fingers and blessings,

No comments:

Post a Comment