Monday, July 14, 2008

Finding it Hard to Wish You Happiness

"No person is worth such a metaphor."

Jacob Winterstein (a wonderful poet hailing from Temple University- STAND UP!) said this in a poem regarding a friend who was in an unhealthy relationship. He used various metaphors to explain what was wrong with his friend's so-called better half and the way his friend was being treated, only to say that his friends' spouse... hell, any person in general, wasn't worth such description. My point?

YOU are the person unworthy of such a metaphor. I try (repeatedly, might I add) to pray for your growth and see the good in you... from a distance. However, there's always something or someone to remind me that you haven't changed a bit.

Staying in the same mind set you've had since a child is always appealing when it's presented to us like this in comics or Peter Pan's flying across the screen talking about "never growing up", but it's also not realistic. At some point in time, you have to realize that you will be held accountable for your actions. I guess the one who will hold you accountable, other than myself and as soon as you are at fault- not months later, has to come along as well. It is one thing to be cognizant of your flaws. It is another thing to go about changing them, but to have your world spinning upside down while you are making no attempt at gaining control of it completely baffles me.

For what? Everyone doesn't know how to be respectful. Not to mention, respect is earned. However, common courtesies should be just that... common. For example, when you don't have your life together- don't bring someone into it and have them lost in the turmoil with you. It's nice to have someone that's dedicated and willing to stand beside you during hard times, but this doesn't mean they should be brought into the relationship for the soul purpose of testing their commitment. Prove them right the first time. Anyone who finds you "relationship-worthy" clearly sees something in you that makes them consider monogamy. Why are you fighting against that so badly? What do you have to prove?

Furthermore, your constant struggle at being less than what you're capable of is harmful. Not only to you, but to those in your surroundings. I would think that hurting people gets old, but maybe I'm wrong. Is this really who you are? Is there no noticeable attempt at change for the better because you're so comfortable and complacent with this piece of a man you've become or have possibly always been? Sadly enough, I heard the quote "It's too hard for you to be a man and too easy for you to be less than", and thought of you.

The only thing constant in the world is change-
You really should get in on the action,

p.s. And maybe I'm no bigger or better because I couldn't even put your name out there or say this to you directly, but I cut the rope which tied us together not too long ago. You have yet to prove me wrong for making that decision, and this may all sound spiteful- but you know like I know that my words stem from nothing less than love. I want what's best for you. They deserve the best from you. You just have to want it too.


  1. ouch.

    a woman scorned! get over it.

  2. Clearly you're new to my blog, scorned doesn't even almost a little bit fit my description.

    And I'm not referring to myself as the person being hurt- I've healed, forgiven, and am no longer in the position to be directly affected by their actions.

    However, I am a woman that cares and wants them to get it right, because I also know they want the same for themselves.

    Maybe you should have read this over a few times, or at least paid attention to the p.s.

  3. ugg don u jus lothe people who dont get it all! =) I will say tho babe that you sound bitter. But because i semi-know you i semi-understand what your intentions were. inhale... exhale... and let live.

  4. ahh this spoke to me!! lol I def got it because I recently kinda sorta went thru this myself...cutting ties can be hard but sometimes you must stop thinking bout the other person and start thinking about yourself you know? (plus they won't ever get it if you're always there) I havent yet gotten over losing my friend but I know everything heals with time and that day will come.

    i'll admit I haven't been on here in a while...i see now i've been missing out! lol

  5. Raaasclot...someone needs to go shopping!!