Wednesday, July 16, 2008

If You Were Wondering How My Day Was...

Wasup young?
Don't know why, but I've always wanted to say that. So, I'm just going to give you a semi-play by play of my day (and yesterday) since I never made it on here.

Yesterday was my mothers' birthday. My birth mother. I just started writing a poem about her, more so in my head than on paper, but you'll see it as soon as it takes full form. For those who don't know, my birth mother passed away when I was 9. I found myself wondering what tidbits of advice my mother would pass onto me, how she would help me through situations, and things in that area.

So, I find myself in the library looking for Christian fiction novels and instead of finding the book I was looking for, I'm off in the direction the librarian told me my book would be. What do I find? I've come to think of it as what God wanted me to read. The book I found was one about motherly advice from a daughters' perspective. It contained various quotes and little anecdotes. Coincidence, much? I think not. Long story short, this made my heart smile.

::Fast forward::

I was scanning through my blog roll this morning and saw that Chris responded to yesterdays' post. I read it, left a comment on his blog (that you'll never read because he deleted it- *and for my readers who aren't aware of my personals on any level beyond what you read, just think of the situation in general regardless of the specifics), and headed off to the rec center. While driving, I asked God to reveal to me the extent/consequence of what I wrote yesterday and decide how to carry on.

It goes without saying that I'm emotional. The inner-conflict I was having with myself is that I intended my previous post for good but the message got lost somewhere in midst of my feelings and I think I may have hurt his feelings as a result. Not to mention, the quote , "I've been passing by people on the pavement passing out judgements as if they're auditioning for the role of God," was playing in my head over and over. I didn't want to be that person. What to do, what to do? So, I re-read my post to my best friend while at the rec, and I realized that my post was a bash... plain and simple. I proceeded to explain to her that I meant what I said but I didn't mean it the way it sounded. She just cut me off and said, "B, I understand. You know how you meant it. You responded the way you saw fit. Be content with that."

Easier said then done.

Fast forwarding to later in the afternoon: I'm sweeping and Mary's, Just Fine comes on. I've said it once, I'll say it again- "Couldn't imagine going through it without soul music." After hearing that song, I was so at peace with the entire situation. Why?

"Cause I like what I see when I'm looking at me
When I'm walking past the mirror
Don't stress through the night
At a time in my life,
Aint worried bout if you feel it
Got my head on straight,
Got my mind right...
I aint goin' let you kill it."

Seriously though. It just reminded me that I'm at a good point in my life, I know the type of person I am and that I would never intentionally hurt someone I care for, not to mention I made an attempt to rectify what I saw as a miscommunication of my intentions due to poor delivery. Because of that, there's nothing to waste time harping on. All is well. So, how'd I top the day off?

I went and got a tattoo with that good ol' sister of mine ya'll hear so much about, assuming you've been with me for a while. When you put our wrist together, it reads, "You and me shall never part." The symbol below it is the Aya. It represents endurance and the defiance of difficulties. My wrist is the one on the right. See?

(this is a newer, more clearer picture than the one that was originally posted)

May not be the greatest pic, but you get the point. So, that was my day in a nut shell. In the end, everything rounds out. Now, as far as my current vibe? Come over by Aaliyah was playing on the ride home from my sisters and singing lullabies to me... So, you can better your bottom dollar that's why it's posted below but, I still wasn't ready to take down Maze just yet.

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?


  1. I like your blog.
    I was doing a search
    for sista souljah's
    The coldest Winter Ever
    and you came up...
    I like your words.
    I think your genius.
    Figured I'd let you

  2. Seeing you triumphant is always rewarding.

    -Chucked Deuce-

  3. Thanx for the love Rodrigues. I mean that sincerely... Be- mwuah!