Sunday, May 25, 2008

This is Family Business

::deep breath::

I'm home. Saying that being back has been chaotic would be a major understatement... a hell of an understatement even. Nonetheless, today (Memorial Day weekend) brought me back. There are a few guts I plan to spill on this page, but let's reflect on all that's well first- because it could always be worse. Today was one of those "smooth sailing" days: woke up, did some cleaning with the fam in preparation for the company that was coming over, ran to the grocery store mid-evening so moms could hit the stove and daddy could worked the grill, then sat back and ate some of that good ol' southern cooking that yall (the readers) are probably missing out on! ::sticks tongue out::

However, today was one of the better days. Since being home, I've been bumping heads with my both of my parents something serious. And it's not like I came home on some, "I've been away at college making my own decisions, so I'm grown" type stuff. I am fully aware that living with them means I need to abide by their rules. In the same token, I need them to realize that with that independence came a certain amount of maturity, and I need them to respect it.

My father is a present-day cave man when it comes to his family beliefs. He is one of those dads where children do exactly as they're told regardless of reason, have no opinion, and remain in the place of a child despite their age or growth. With that being said, I'm not in any way a rebellious child but I've always been opinionated. I was the prime candidate when it came to kids who got in trouble for talking out in class. My father would say, "She doesn't talk a lot, she just has a lot to say." As I got older, my opinions and I got a little bit more back bone.

Since being away, the fear my father has instilled in me has dimmed to some extent, and I find it harder to agree to his "children have no opinion theory". As a result, I've found the need to speak my mind a bit more than usual, and I've made attempts to see to it that it didn't sound disrespectful. But regardless of the tone I speak in and the way I try to deliver it, I can't get my point across. Needless to say, it's frustrating. However, I'm starting to think that the lesson in this is humility and self-discipline. I need to choose my battles carefully and not speak out when they're "coming down on me", so to speak. For now, it's something to pray on.

Progress is a Slow Progress,

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